Just listen up and you'll hear a tale, a tale of the Warner three!
Went on the water tower, they did try to flee!
They shot into the puffy clouds, some seeds to make it rain and rain!
It did so much in fact the tower floated away! All around L.A.!
When the rain dried up, the tower was aground on the Burbank lot,
The Warner Brothers then escaped with their sister, Dot! And they took off like a shot!
Now, they're being chased around the Warner Studio.
By Scratchansniff and Hello Nurse, the CEO, Ralph the Guard,
Some movie stars, the Professor and Mary Ann on the Warner's Lot!
[Cartoon opens up on The Goodfeathers. Camera pans left to Flaxseed's Totallity of Candy. "Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairies" from "The Nutcracker Suite by Pytor Tchaikovsky plays in the background. Fade to inside. A weasel in fine clohtes and a toupee, is sucking on a green sucker, looking at himself in the mirror. Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July walks up to the counter]
[in an Irish accent] Eh, beggin' yer pardon, sir.
FFFerman Flaxseed
[taking the green sucker out of his mouth] Yes?! Yes?! What?! What?! What?!
I'm Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July, and-well, I was wonderin', Mr. Flaxseed, our orphanage hasn't much money, and, well-would you consider donating some of your fine candies to our sweet boys and girls for our Easter celebration?
FFFerman Flaxseed
[looks at the camera] You mean - for free?
FFFerman Flaxseed
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- [camera trucks-in on his mouth. As he laughs, his tonsils, each with a purple toupee, laugh with him. Camera trucks-out of his mouth] AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha! NO! [kicks Sister Margaret-Anne-June-July out. She blows raspberries, then walks away] Deadbeats! Where DO they come from?
Ferman Flaxseed is pouring a bag of marshmallows into a barrel. Yakko, disguised as a mail man, comes in with a telegram for him]
Telegram for Ferman Flaxseed! [hands him the envelope] How about a tip?
FFFerman Flaxseed
Don't eat lead!
[as he and Dot appear out of envelope] Didja miss us?
Give us a kiss, kid! [kisses him on the nose. They run as he gives chase]
Look! Malted milk balls! [pours the malted milkballs out of the jar and into his mouth. He becomes a machine gun as Ferman Flaxseed advances towards them. He spits them out with Dot winding his tail, shooting at Ferman Flaxseed. Ferman Flaxseed deflects the malted milkballs, which go into Yakko's mouth, using the silver platter as a shield. Wakko runs out of malted milkballs] I'm out!
FFFerman Flaxseed
[angrily grabs Wakko and Dot and holds them up] Naugh-ty, naugh-ty children!
[offscreen] Stop right there! [as her shadow overlooms Ferman Flaxseed] You put those children down, you beast!
[Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July stands at the doorway with a ruler, very angrily; Yakko smiles]
FFFerman Flaxseed
But, you-don't understand! They were-
WDWakko and Dot
[pretending to cry] WAH!
Come on, girls! That's the one I toldja about! Get him!
[She and the nuns march in angrily, with yard sticks in their hands. Camera trucks-in on Ferman Flaxseed's terrified face]
FFFerman Flaxseed
Wait! You're nuns! You're not allowed to resort to physical violence!
He's right. Let us pray. [she and the nuns pray mumblingly. Outside Flaxseed's Totallity of Candy, a Notre Lame bus pulls up. Cheerleaders and The Notre Lame Marching Band come out of the bus as The Notre Lame Football Team comes to beat up Ferman Flaxseed] Our prayers have been answered! [blows the whistle]
[The Notre Lame Football Team marches down an aisle of Cheerleaders and beat up Ferman Flaxseed]
WWarnerss
[cheerleading] Clobber Flaxseed, clobber Flaxseed! Sis-boom-bah! Fighting Irish, Fighting Irish! Rah! Rah! Rah!
Go, Flaxseed! [violence stops] Just kidding!
[Violence continues. The Warners eat popcorn as they watch the violence. The Notre Lame Football Team stops beating up Ferman Flaxseed, and leaves. So do Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July and the nuns. Ferman Flaxseed is beaten up and weak from the fight]
You should go hit the shower!
[They throw him into the quick drying chocolate. He gets covered in chocolate]
Make sure to wash behind your ears!
[They dunk him in quick drying chocolate. He becomes a chocolate bunny]
[Bumbie's Mom gets shot, causing Skippy to drop his popcorn]
[starts to tear up] Bumbie's Mommy... [cries]
[surprised out of her nap] Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel! [she then stares at the crying Skippy]
Calm down kiddo, it's just a movie. She's not really...
Dead, she's dead. Bumbie's an orphan! [resumes his loud sobbing]
WWalrus Lady
[annoyed, tapping on Slappy's shoulder] WHAT is that child's problem?!
Me! And in about 2 seconds, you're gonna share that problem.
Well, you should. It's fun. [pushes the walrus lady back into her seat and sits down herself. Skippy looks up and lets out a weepy gasp in horror as the background changes red. A terrifying forest fire has started in the movie, and Skippy moans and cries in fear now] What do you say we get some air, eh?
[Skippy lets out another scared sob]
BBumbie
[prances through the wildfire in fear] Mommy?
[Skippy bawls loudly at this. Slappy picks him up and starts carrying him out of the theater. The walrus lady is about to say something]
Say one word and I'll throw dynamite down your pants!
[Open on The Himilayas. Triumphant music plays in the background]
The Himalayas. The largest mountains on the face of the Earth. [Fade to an "Up this way" sign, outside Mt. Gesundheit] And here, high atop Mt. Gesundheit, lives the wisest creature in the world. The great Wally Llama, knower of all that is knowable. People from all over the globe seek his advice, for there is no question he does not have an answer to.
WLWally Llama
So, you see, Miss MacLaine, there is no way you could have been Kaye Ballard in another life. She is a Winter, and you are definitely an Autumn.
SMShirley MacLaine
It's true! There is no question you don't know the answer to. Oh, thank you, Wally Llama. [kissing Wally Llama on the lips] Mmm . [skips away]
WLWally Llama
Huh, boy, what a dumb question. Phew! [goes back inside his temple. He puts a "Closed" sign on his door] All day long questions, questions. I'm sick of questions! I will answer no more questions today. [goes into his meditation room. He sits down on his cushion, pulling on a rope. A T.V. set pops up. He watches a Western, sighing]
[Outside the temple, The Warner Siblings are walking up the stairs to The Temple of Wally Llama. They sit down on a step, tired, exhausted, panting]
Phew. That's worse than sweating to the oldies.
True, no Richard Simmons.
[Dot pants. Wakko Eats snow, then turns to see The Temple of Wally Llama]
Hey, there it is! The temple of Wally Llama!
[The Warner Siblings run up to the doors. Yakko rings the doorbell]
Wow. Just think, siblings, soon we'll know the answer to the most important question in the whole wide world.
[Wakko Eats more snow. Yakko rings the doorbell]
WLWally Llama
Go away! [all Warner Siblings sniff themselves and shrug. Yakko rings the doorbell again] I said, "Go away"! I am missing Baywatch.
But we have a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very- [Yakko jabs him with his elbow] important question to ask you.
WLWally Llama
I'm sick of questions! Everybody always wants to ask me a question. [mockingly] "Oh, Wally Llama, I have a question". "Oh, Wally Llama, why is this?" "Why is that?" [angrily] No! I am not answering anymore questions today!
WLWally Llama
That's a question! And I'm not answering it. So there! [slams door]
[Yakko rings doorbell]
[The Warner Siblings put on a slide show]
Oh, great Llama, we have journeyed 8,000 miles through rain, sleet, and snow.
We humbly request that you answer our one, tiny, ever-so-important question.
WLWally Llama
Well... [angrily shouting, blowing Dot away] NO! [slams door]
["Let the Anvils Ring" plays]
Let us introduce ourselves, o people of this land.
We are the Warner brothers...
With sister close at hand.
I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown? And why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne?
CCrowd
Oh, please, please tell us why.
The bottom of the family tree.
Starts with Yakko; that is me.
I'm the cousin to the sister of son's niece's brother,
Of the uncle's daughter's father, of the nephew's sister's mother,
And my grandpa's only cousin was the King's daughter's sibling,
But they're all gone.
CCrowd
He is now our king!
Yes, I am now your king! Repeat what I just said!
CCrowd
Repeat what I just said! He is now our king!
[Anvil instrumental break with Anvil Chorus]
[to the tune of Old McDonald] Old King Yakko's mania [anvils play "E-I-E-I-O"] Was for Anvilania! [anvils play "E-I-E-I-O"]
So good citizens, I pledge to you, I'll do the best that I can do. For honor, country and the king...Let the anvils ring!
CCrowd
Let the anvils ring!
CChorus
Let the anvils ring!
UUmlatt
No, no! This is the uniform of a great man!
Does he know you're wearing it?
UUmlatt
I am Umlatt of Donlikus, and I am here to demand you surrender Anvilania to me! I give you 24 hours to vacate!
Vacation already? This is only my first day on the job!
UUmlatt
I demand your surrender!
I will not surrender! You surrender!
Okay, I accept. Hand over the keys to your castle.
UUmlatt
Don't be ridiculous! I'll go to war before I surrender!
Well go ahead, and don't you come back until you've learned some manners, young man!
UUmlatt
Very well, you silly child! [throwing his hands into the air] This means war!
I thought that meant touchdown?
