TV show quotes
[Colonel Von Strohm is in a bad mood with Von Flockenstuffen and takes it out on Captain Bertorelli]
Get out, and whilst you're out why don't you kill a chicken and get your hat restuffed.
Good idea. I go and chase a bird or two. (Pinches Helga's bottom on the way out.)
[General Von Klinkerhoffen is in hospital in a straitjacket. He is talking into the telephone which is next to the fruit bowl when General Von Flockenstuffen and Lieutenant Gruber visit]
Hello Operator. Get me Berlin at once.
I'll give you a line and you can dial the number yourself.
You incompetent idiot. Come back.
[General Von Flockenstuffen and Lieutenant Gruber enter the room]
Yes. I hope the General will be well enough to come out for a period of convalescence.
What is your name, rank and number? Talk to me. If you will not reply I will have you court martialed.
[Aside to Von Flockenstuffen] He's talking to the fruit.
On second thoughts, I think we'll keep him in for the time being.
[Edith implores René to help Madame Fanny to escape from jail]
Mama is not well. How will she endure the hardships of prison life? The isolation, the damp, the lack of gin?
She is only the local nick. She has not been sent to Devil's Island... Yet, anyway.
[Michelle appears and wants to make sure she and René are alone]
Is the coast clear?
We are fifty miles from the coast! How would I know?
You were always a Twitcher.
I'm still Twitching.
Herr Flick, where are you?
I am behind this screen with von Smallhausen.
May I inquire to what you are up?
We have taken off our clothes in accordance with the Fuhrer's instructions.
What exactly did the Fuhrer ask you to do?
[To Yvette]
When we are too old to make love, we will make wonderful soup.
Even in heaven, they know about my bad legs.
An old woman lies here growing weak from lack of nourishment!
Pardon, mademoiselle. I keep forgetting that we Frenchmen have a tradition...of having it off like rabbits.
(Disguised as a priest during the wedding of René to Denise Laroque)
Dearly belivid. We are gathered here todoo to join this min and this women in haley weedlock.
We will goo oot the bock wee.
This is rosky in day light. Can you not wait until it is dick?
A bum.
Then they will be taken to the arbour where a small boot will be waiting by the dis-used dick.
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