Edith Artois quotes from &#039;Allo &#039;Allo!

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René! What are you doing, holding that poor servant-girl in your arms?

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[Madame Fanny has been spending forged money in the hat shop]

Good Moaning, I have come to arost your mither.

YYvette

Arrest her mother? Why, what has she done?

She has been pissing fudged bank notes in the hit shop.

Edith

What does Crabtree say, Yvette?

YYvette

I think he means "she has been passing forged bank notes in the hat shop.

Presoasly

René (Dressed like Fanny, doing a poor impression of her): Edith, remind him he is supposed to be on our side.

Who is the ugly old bog in the bed beside your mother?

FFanny

I have been asking the same question.

René (takes off his wig): It is I, Rene.

My Gid that was a god disgeese, I was complotely decieved by the wog.

Edith, give him 500 francs from the till and tell him to pass off.

There is no need to be rode.

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[Edith discovers René and Yvette embracing in the larder]

Edith

René! What are you doing with your arms around that girl?

You stupid woman? Can you not see she's suffering from claustrophobia? She accidentally locked herself in the larder.

Edith

But there is no key!

Exactly, that's why she couldn't get out.

Edith

Oh, the poor child. Oh, it happened to me once. I screamed and screamed, but nobody came.

We thought you were singing.

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[René has just survived an attempt on his life by the Communist Resistance, in retaliation for the events of the previous episode]

Edith

He is dead!

I am not dead, you silly cow!

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[Edith implores René to help Madame Fanny to escape from jail]

Edith

Mama is not well. How will she endure the hardships of prison life? The isolation, the damp, the lack of gin?

She is only the local nick. She has not been sent to Devil's Island... Yet, anyway.