Mike quotes from All in the Family

But criticism is the whole point of this game! There's no fun without it!

How long have you been believing in curses?

Of course there is magic all the time. You even find magic in the Bible.

For the last four weeks... and I think it's longer...

Take the animal kingdom. The male is always in charge!

You kissed a perfect stranger on a street corner?

You talked to (George) like he was a dog. I thought you were going to pat him on the head and toss him a bone.

Retarded people have no more of a sex drive than anyone else.

Do you realize that before 1968, there were hardly any cars recalled for being defective? But in 1972, there were nearly eight million cars recalled.

Yeah, yeah—what's the seventh number?

Arch, you're not giving the fish a fighting chance.

(to Gloria) You realize how many boring things I've got to do in a single day to drive me crazy? I've got to get up, I've gotta brush my teeth, I have to shave—and I hate to shave. There are days where I stand there debating with that mirror: Should I shave, or should I cut my throat? But I shave.

(to Gloria, about Archie) And he keeps saying the same thing to me every time I knock on the door. He says, "Don't knock, give it a Polack ring. So I say, "What's a Polack ring?" He says, "A dumb bell."

Hey Arch, will you hold it down? Gloria and I are trying to sleep!

Arch, did you ever stop to think... When that crate dropped, maybe God was out to get you, and missed?