(Edith is about to give the nun a donation at the door)
ArchieNo more than half a buck. No matter what they tell you; most of what they get, they buy golden candlesticks with.
Played by Carroll O'Connor
All in the Family · 293 quotes
Most-quoted character in All in the Family: in 123 of its 293 quotes
Most scenes with: Mike (9), Edith Bunker (6), Gloria Stivic (3)
Lines by Archie Bunker 107
ArchieArchie (addressing Mike): Poland. The land that gave us rare and delicate dishes such as?
Gloria: Polish sausage is very good.
ArchieYou ought to know, you married one.
ArchieYou give my daughter a baby, and you can't even support a goldfish.
(Archie reads a newspaper article referring to one juror holding out on a case.)
Archie"Lone juror." They should have said "lone dingbat".
S1 E9 Edith's Jury Duty
View quote →
(Archie finds out that his job has been spared)
ArchieWhat do you mean, 'Congratulations.' You don't have to congratulate me for nothing. See, there's nothing happening to me, you'd think I'm Lazarus rising from the bed.
S1 E10 Archie Is Worried About His Job
View quote →
(Archie and Mike are talking about the benefits of the USA)
ArchieThey got the greatest country in the world here. The highest standard of living. The grossest national product.
S1 E12 Success Story
View quote →
ArchieWhen I come home from work, and I say "What's new, Edith?", I want her to tell me what's new, even if it is twenty-five years old!
S2 Archie Is Jealous
View quote →
ArchieWhat do you want me to do? Spend $600 on a funeral for a guy who used to sit on my face?
Edith: He'll never do it again.
S2 E1 The Saga of Cousin Oscar
View quote →
ArchieC'mon, give me your opinion, straight from the dingbat.
Edith: Well, I think you should mind your own business.
Archie: Who asked you?
Archie... Dragging me off to a moving picture like that, it was absolutely disgusting!
Edith: Well, I'm sorry, Archie. How was I to know? I thought it was a religious picture: "Cardinal Knowledge."
ArchieThese sinuses are murder. They fog up my whole head.
Mike: Well, that explains everything.
ArchieThat's why your coloreds have to behave better, they gotta act nicer, they gotta try harder...
Lionel: Yeah, that's right, we's like Avis.
ArchieI'm telling you, Edith, we're living in a jungle. That's what, a jungle. But you know what I got?
Mike: Malaria.
ArchieWhen it comes to defense, democracy's gonna have to wait.
ArchieI ain't no bigot. I'm the first guy to say, "It ain't your fault that youse are colored."
More All in the Family characters
All All in the Family quotes →
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All in the Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.