[to his date] I don't want to talk about the Camdens anymore. Can you go back to the anti-depressants?
S8 E3P.K. [Preacher's Kid]
I don't think that this is funny. You should never play hide and seek with a babysitter. In fact, hide and seek may not be a good game to play at all.
HHaley
Could you be a little nicer? You're scaring me.
[about Carlos and Mary getting married] So, are you going to make a formal announcement?"
What? And spoil all the fun at the church?
S8 E4I Wasn't Expecting That!
Sam and David ate the coal.
I like coal.
Me, too. I'm gonna be a miner.
Are you ok?
Lucy and I haven't had sex since I got pummeled by that woman.
Good night.
I don't think you're that close yet. I don't think you'll ever be that close where you can talk to him about having sex with his daughter.
[about Annie] She's always cranky when she comes back from her little trips.
S8 E5Simon's Home Video
This is our house...only it's not our house because it belongs to the church. My dad is a Protestant minister. Because my dad and mom moved here shortly after they were married with my dad's first big assignment, we all grew up here. Or we're growing up here...in this house that really isn't ours. Most of the time, that doesn't bother me, but... you know, sometimes it does. Maybe someday I'll become rich enough to buy it from the church, so we can keep it in the family. It's not impossible. I've always been known as the Bank of Simon. I'm good with money. When I was 10, I begged my dad for a dog, and when that didn't work, I went to a higher authority. I was certain that a dog would just appear out of the either, but...(chuckles) Dad wasn't so sure. "Simon, if by some great cosmic coincidence, a dog happens to come to you here at the house, fine, but you don't go out looking for a dog, and you don't trick one into coming into the yard." Fortunately, in addition to delivering many heartfelt prayers, I also begged my mom for a dog, and she stopped by the pound and rescued one -- this one, Happy. So I believed my prayers were answered. Dad let me keep her, even though we found out she was having puppies.
The curly-haired one is Ruthie. She's my youngest sister. We shared a room at one time for a long time, and that's probably why I still feel closest to her. We've been through a lot together... that and the and fact that she's saner than my two older sisters. Lucy is 21. She's been married about 6 months to Kevin. He's a cop. Lucy wants to follow in my father's footsteps and become a minister. And evidently, Mary has decided to follow in my mother's footsteps because she's 22 and she's gonna have a baby with her husband, Carlos. They got married the week after Lucy and Kevin...only, no one knew. They just told us when they found out they were pregnant. This is my older brother, Matt. He's 24 now. 2nd year of medical school. He's married, too, to Sarah. She's also 24 and in her 2nd year of medical school. They've all married young, but what are we supposed to do? It's get married and have sex or don't get married and don't have sex. And of course, we've all wrestled with the other choices. Although she better not be wrestling with anyone soon, especially him. He better not even think about coming anywhere near her. Oh, that's...that's Peter, Ruthie's boyfriend. And these two are Sam and David my youngest brothers, they're 4. They're twins. Right, 4 year old twins. Matt's 24. Uh, here's the family. Mary's 22. Lucy's 21. I'm 17. Ruthie's 13. And then Sam and David are 4. We were all surprised when Mom and Dad decided to have more children and happy. We were happy... happy and surprised. But...we shouldn't have been. My mom and dad have always been hot for each other. I can't think of a better way to describe them. I think they're the reason Matt, Mary, and Lucy got married. They want that. We all want that. It's like...being in 7th Heaven. Permanently.
It takes a lot of work to get that kind of relationship and keep it going, and no one's tried harder than Lucy. She got off to a bad start.
S8 E10The One Thing
It's a classic indication of obstructive lung disease, and it...Miss Glass, welcome. Mr. Simon here has a long-standing history of asthma. He presents today with increasing SOB.
SOB?
No, it's not an epithet.
Uh, shortness of breath.
Well, thank you for interrupting, Mr...Camden. Why don't you listen to Mr. Simon's lungs and tell us what you hear.
I've lost my bag.
Your what?
My stethoscope -- it was my black bag. I must have left it in the subway.
SStudent
Wow, you have a black bag.
Okay, anyone willing to help out our poor Mr. Camden? Oh, look. No one else left theirs on the subway. On second thought, you may need those. Uh...Nurse Kelly...
NKNurse Kelly
Yes?
Would you be kind enough to lend our Mr. Camden here your stethoscope for the day?
NKNurse Kelly
No.
Don't worry, I'll make sure he gives it back. Consider it your contribution to medical education.
NKNurse Kelly
Find me when you're done. Okay?
Oh...[stammers] Doctors are a lot like boy scouts. They're expected to be prepared and on time. Understood, Miss Glass? Mr. Camden? Mr. Camden?
Uh...bilateral exploratory wheezes with rails at the right base?
Brilliant.
Write this down, Mr. Camden. Turn off phone. All right, the lab is down the hall. Time-stamp your requisitions. Curtains three, four, five. Psych patients are stored next to bed eight. Try not to lose anybody
What's the problem?
I can't turn it off
Why?
It won't turn off
Then, get rid of it. Trauma rooms one, two, three
SStudent
Do we get to work on traumas?
No. Are you getting all of this Mr. Camden? Main desk, Dr. Sterling. This is one of our residents, Dr. Lisa Sterling. Dr. Sterling will assign you your patients. You're expected to do histories and physicals, draw bloods and gather lab results.
SDr. Sterling
Okay. Drawing blood, room three
NNurse
They look like little vampires
PPatient
Ouch!
Sorry
SDr. Sterling
No, never say sorry. It's a sign of weakness
PPatient
Is it all right to say ouch? Ouch! How about getting a nurse to do this?
Uh, I'll give it a shot
SDr. Sterling
All right, Mr. Adams, if Mr. Camden here can't get it on the first try,then I'll do it myself
PPatient
I thought the nurses drew blood. Do you even remember how?
SDr. Sterling
Tourniquet. Prep the area
Got it. Bevel up 20 degrees immobilize the vein and...
PPatient
Hey, you drew first blood. I hardly felt it
SDr. Sterling
Good job. Make sure it gets to the labs
PPatient
Hey doc, can you get this guy to do all my tests?
The rest of you guys need to practice
PPatient
Not on me
You going to tell them
S9 E1Dropping Trou (1)
Sam. David.
I'm sorry.
Me too. I'm real sorry.
I'm real sorry too.
What happened?
The girl hit him, so I hit her.
Then she cried.
So I tried to stop her.
Then she screamed.
So I decided to run.
So I ran after him.
So the teacher ran after us.
Then we ran faster and faster.
So she ran faster.
Then she fall down.
So we kept on running.
Than we got tired.
So we hid in the bathroom.
Then the teacher found us.
So she wrote you a letter.
SDSam & David
The end!
Look, I regret that...
Yeah, you regret that?...
I regret that you wouldn't give me a ride on my first day of school and you have absolutely no sense of humor.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 7th Heaven pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.