Where would we be without the agitators of the world to attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?
S2Sensitive Dick
We will now deliberate and return with a guilty verdict.
S2Will Work For Dick
You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
Nope.
Well, you've stapled before...
I have not.
Surely you've used a paperclip.
Oh! You mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
Two!
You're hired.
Harry, did I get any phone calls?
Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly.
And... who called?
Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.
Does this mean you've come to your senses and you're going to apologize to Nina?
No, I will never come to my senses!
S2Fifteen Minutes of Dick
Sally, they want you to appear on Good Afternoon, Rutherford.
That's my second-favorite show!
What's your first-favorite?
Good Morning, Rutherford.
S2Dick and the Single Girl
Can we take more than one?
Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.
Don't be so insensitive.
[to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!
S2A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 1
Don, what happens to people? Are they born mad or do one day their minds just snap?
If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.
S2A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2
[Dick and Sally are doped out on antidepressants]
I like TV.
Me too. Let's say we turn it on. [he turns it on]
It's even better on.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.