Fine, it's your loss. There's only one Wesley Snipes in the world.
You know there isn't!
Ugh!
S4 E22I Do Do
S5 E1The Fabian Strategy
I am a grown woman! I have been doing things my way for a long time. I don't like my "life stuff" mixing with my "dude stuff."
A middle-aged woman saying "dude stuff," is that on my sadness scavenger hunt? Why yes it is!
Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end... of this sentence.
Although I'm great at this, I'm really not necessary. Hmmm, the last time I said that I was in a three-way with two Backstreet Boys.
S5 E2When it Rains, it Pours
I'm embarrassed to say I've missed the birth of both of my sons, for very legitimate reasons.
DDotcom
"Cooking a French bread pizza" and "forgot".
[making lessons DVD] In the unlikely event that you encounter something that is not covered here, find a woman named Elizabeth Lemon, get her advice, and then do the opposite.
S5 E3Let's Stay Together
I'm gonna to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely, and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.
RBRegina Bookman
The FUTURE. And AMERICA. Now I may have lost my train of thought SEVERAL minutes ago, but if I continue to TALK LIKE THIS, no one will NOTICE, and when I STOP, you will APPLAUD my ENERGY! Thank you!
Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation! The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things, the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas, the third generation... snowboards and takes improv classes.
RBRegina Bookman
Mr. Donaghy, this may be just be about money to you, but as a member of Congress and a black woman...
I don't really see color or gender, Mr. Chang.
S5 E4Live Show
Does it seem weird to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera. Good God, I can see every line and pore on your face.
Yeah, well my face cream was recalled. Apparently it was killing the lab rats'...Ugh what was it?... brains!
A Mr. Brett 'Fav-ray' stopped by and, uh, dropped off this picture of a hot dog.
Finally.
Oh, and the Chilean miners are all out, and they are very angry about what you've been saying about them.
So I guess they're geniuses for getting stuck in a mine?
Also, your pharmacy called, and apparently you can't get a prescription for ecstasy.
Ugh, thanks, Obamacare!
Wow, you were very fit back then.
Yes, but my penis was smaller.
S5 E5Reaganing
Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned. I'm sorry I'm a real woman and not some over-sexed New York nympho like those sluts on Everybody Loves Raymond.
Making through a full 24 hours without a single misstep is called Reaganing. The only other people who have ever done it, Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and--no judgment--Saddam Hussein.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.