“Christmas” quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

Ross, thank you very much for the Christmas bonuses.

It was nothing.

Almost!

"Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Joins The A-Team" will not be shown at this time. In its place, we present another Christmas turkey.

Yeah, you know, I know what you mean. I was in this one store and there was a sign: "10 Santas, No Waiting."

I know what you mean, Christine. I was in this store and there was an express Santa for kids that wanted less than five presents.

Oh yeah? Was he busy?

No. Who wants less than five presents?

It's driving Dougie crazy. He can't find his Christmas presents anywhere.

Where did you hide them?

Oh, I found a place he hasn't looked in years. Under his bed.

Okay, it has 11 letters, it begins with S, and when--

Wait a minute, Alasdair. What are you doing?

I'm giving my report, sir.

Your assignment was to give me a review of A Christmas Carol.

Well, that's right, and "Silent Night"'s my favorite Christmas carol.

Not a Christmas carol, A Christmas Carol! By Charles Dickens!

I've never heard of him, sir, but maybe if you sung a couple of lines, it might come back to me.

Every Christmas Eve, it's the same thing, I can't put these things together!

I know, dear.

I'm a senator, I'm not an engineer.

Well, let me see that, Lance. [Lance hands over the instruction sheet.] Well, maybe you're having trouble, dear, because you're using the Japanese instructions.

Let me see that! [He grabs the sheet back.] I know.

Of course you did.

I just happen to like a challenge, okay?

You bet.