Xena quotes from Xena: Warrior Princess

Gabrielle

Another one's fallen for you.

Xena

Again? What is it?

Gabrielle

Oh, the blue eyes... the leather. Men love leather.

Xena

I think it's time for a wardrobe change.

Gabrielle

Yeah. You could try wearing chainmail.

Xena

Nah. That'd just attract a kinkier group.

Gabrielle

You're probably right.

Xena

On the other hand, I could just stop bathing and wear a smelly wolf skin. That'd turn ‘em off.

Gabrielle

That's true. Of course, you'd also be traveling alone.

Gabrielle

YOU USED MY SCROLL??

Xena

I had to improvise. There were no good leaves! I used a piece that hardly had any writing on it.

Xena

Oh, that's enough, Minya!

Gabrielle

She's in that, "I'll do anything for the Warrior Princess" haze!

[Minya is playing with Xena's whip] The rotten thing came back and bit me!

Xena

You gotta be careful with it. What are you doing with my whip, anyway?

It isn't your whip, anymore. I traded my best frying pan for it, fair and square.

Gabrielle

Look, we have to cook our food. I am still waiting for the fish I had for lunch to stop trying to swim upstream!

Xena

No, this isn't about cooking, is it?

Gabrielle

I don't know what you're talking about.

Xena

I messed with your scroll, so you... You traded my whip for a frying pan? I want it back.

No! It belongs to me! You don't get that concept very well, do you? The whip is mine. The frying pan's yours. Hower is mine! She's yours.

Meleager's murder weapon-- right here! An actual reproduction of the possible murder weapon, that was never found! Here you go, little lady-- the perfect souvenir for the occasion!

Xena

I'm not a little lady.

I said I could learn something from you and I did. You are who you pretend to be. So you'd better pretend to be something you can live with.

Xena

Be careful, Palamon. We all eventually become what we pretend we are.

Gabrielle

Sirens? Their song is said to call all men who hear it to the death on the rocks of the island.

Xena

All men. I´m not a man.

Yeah, I´ve noticed.

Xena

Feeling any better?

Gabrielle

No, but I´ve gotten used to being miserable.

Xena

'Kaltaka' turned out to be the key. When you went out there, they thought it was a truce to retrieve the wounded. I let my fear and hatred blind me to everything.

Gabrielle

Sometimes the past can do that. Xena, if I had been through what you´ve been through..-

Xena

-No. No! You understand hatred but you've never given in to it.. You have no idea how much I love-.. that..

Xena

They'll be back. Maybe not this year but some day.

Gabrielle

Can anyone stop them?

Xena

Yeah. But it won't be warriors, it would be someone like you. I just hope that wherever the Horde is found, they have a Gabrielle.

Gabrielle

Xena-- oh Xena.

Are you out of your mind?!

Xena

Gabrielle, are you all right?

Gabrielle

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm-- seasick. I'm cursed. Actually, I'm really seasick.

Excuse me. Do you know who I am?

Xena

You're Cecrops. I wasn't gonna let you take off with my best friend.

Gabrielle

What's wrong with you?

Xena

Nothing that a good workout won't cure.

Joxer

Hey ... uh ... try the lake. A cold swim usually helps ... so I've been told.

Gabrielle

What are you doing?

Xena

Hard to believe, but Joxer's advice about a cold swim, I'm taking it.

Gabrielle

That's not hard to believe. No no, Joxer's full of good ideas.

Xena

No, I said Joxer.

Gabrielle

I know, he's teaching me that wonderful song of his.

Xena

Gabrielle, what's going on? You barely tolerate Joxer.

Gabrielle

That was before.

Xena

Before what?

Gabrielle

Before I realized ... I love him.

Xena

What?!

Gabrielle

I know, it shocked me too, to see how blind I'd been. But, maybe that's what love is, it's blind. I should write that down.

Xena

No, Gabrielle, this is crazy. You can't be in love with Joxer. He's ... well, he's Joxer.

Gabrielle

Are you talking about my man? Like Draco is such a prize? Xena, I would rather be in love with Joxer than a blood thirsty warlord like Draco.

Xena

Draco's not like that.

Give me the girls and Gabrielle. Or I will burn the place and everyone inside it.

Xena

You would kill the woman you love?

The question is: would you?

Xena

It's about time you clipped his (Baby Bliss) wings.

Yeah, well, I was a little tied up.