Dr. Johnny Fever quotes from WKRP in Cincinnati

Venus

Andy's dating Mrs Carlson!

Andy

Don't tell anybody!

Venus

Andy's not dating Mrs Carlson!

Johnny

Which one, his wife or his mother?

Andy

His mother. What kind of guy do you think I am?

Johnny

Gee, Travis, I don't know!

Venus

Andy, real speed is gone because it killed everybody. Junkies don't even want it back!

Johnny

And once the Republicans got in, everyone just switched to downers!

Bailey

Have you noticed that you can't tell what color someone is over the phone?

Venus

I guess not.

Bailey

That's right! Stereotype thinking! I mean, when I heard Black Life Magazine, I was expecting him to be like "Hey, little momma, you tell the dude I'll be here at fo'." But he didn't. He sounded just like you!

Venus

What does she mean "just like me?" I'm black, I'm from the street, I can say "fo'!"

Johnny

That's right, Kingfish. You is, and you does. But the problem is, you sound neutral.

Venus

Neutral. You mean 'white.'

Johnny

Well, don't worry, pal. I've heard you say "upside your head," things like that. Don't worry, you can pass for black.

Venus

I don't want to "pass for black," I want to be black! What the hell am I saying?

Les

Monster lizard ravages east coast! Mayors in five New England cities have issued emergency requests for federal disaster relief as a result of a giant lizard that descended on the east coast last night! Officials say that this lizard, the worst since '78, has devastated transportation, disrupted communication, and left many hundreds homeless!

Johnny

Monster lizard?

Les

The wire service never lies!

Johnny

Les, the "B" is out on the printer! It's monster blizzard!

Andy

Les, your stories always seem to have a kind of a, uh... how shall I put this?

Johnny

Barnyard aroma?

Bailey

You don't like parties? You don't like putting on a silly hat, hiding behind furniture, and generally stripping yourself of every shred of human dignity?

Johnny

Now that you put it that way, I do like that.

Johnny

Travis, you should've heard Bailey with the news. It's the first time it ever made sense.

Jennifer

I like when Les does it. It's always so surreal.

Johnny

Here's how we do it. We go into the supermarket. [to Bailey] You create a ruckus in the produce section. [to Venus] You grab the poster, slip it under your jacket, we're out the door!

Bailey

What kind of ruckus?

Johnny

I don't know, uh, something with mangoes.

Bailey

Mangoes?

Andy

[entering] Hey, Venus, don't worry about the posters; they'll be out of the supermarkets by tomorrow.

Venus

Thank goodness.

Bailey

Oh, too bad. I was just getting a mental picture of me and those mangoes.

Johnny

Yeah...?