WKRP in Cincinnati quotes

143 total quotes

All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  

Andy: [to Johnny] We've got a playlist. You should play the list. We've gotta play some Top 40 hits, don't we? Why, sure we do. Yet you have yet to play a single hit off the playlist all week. Play the playlist. Play a part of the playlist! Play one song off the playlist! Play a part of one of the songs off the playlist! Well, it's so nice to see we've established a dialogue here. There you go, you want to talk about this, I'll be in my office playing with a loaded revolver.

Andy: Damn, I like this cloak and dagger stuff! Carrying a Russian across Ohio in the dead of night, and you're telling me my life ain't workin' out?

Andy: Half the time you can't even hear the lyrics.
Mr. Carlson: Well, these people, these CURB monitors, they figured out the lyrics.
Johnny: They sure did! Boy, I can see 'em now, huddled there in the corner of the church, playing every record slower and slower... then suddenly, "there's a naughty word!"
Season 4

Andy: Heat, there's no heat!
Johnny: No kidding there's no heat! It's because Mr. Carlson's mother is here. She walks in, everything freezes. She is the Ice Queen! She has powers beyond any mortal woman!

Andy: Herbert, I do not need a computerized service to help me find girls. I meet 'em the old-fashioned way: I pick them up in bars.

Andy: I have only been in this town for two weeks. I'm living in an apartment that doesn't have any furniture. I've been fighting with your mother. I've been fighting with-with-with Les, I've been fighting with Herb. I don't even know where my laundry is, sir.
Mr. Carlson: Oh, settle down.
Andy: Frankly, sir, I'm...I'm just as tired of all this as you are.
Mr. Carlson: Yeah. Heh. Well, I guess so. Listen, for whatever it's worth, I don't know where my laundry is either.

Andy: Les, your stories always seem to have a kind of a, uh... how shall I put this?
Johnny: Barnyard aroma?

Andy: Let me ask you a question - am I the guard, or one of the nuts?
Venus: I think you're a guard on the way to becoming a nut.

Andy: Mr. Carlson, we have got big trouble.
Mr. Carlson: Uh oh, mother's on her way!
Andy: It is not your Momma. It is worse than Momma.
Mr. Carlson: Worse? What could be worse than Momma?

Andy: There are thousands of stations in this country with women on the air.
Les: As disk jockeys, yes. But this is news, Travis, news - important stuff.
Andy: What about Barbara Walters?
Les: I 'west' my case.

Andy: We have a responsibility to our listeners!
Johnny: Right! If I die, who's gonna teach the children about Bo Diddley?

Andy: You interested in radio?
Little Arthur: Oh, kinda.
Johnny: It's probably because he knows that the first thing you do when you overthrow a government is seize control of the radio station.

Andy: You're paranoid.
Johnny: Hey, Travis, when everybody is out to get you, paranoid is just good thinking!

Bailey: [in jail] You don't think they're going to fingerprint us, do you? "Bailey Quarters, Summa Cum Laude Ohio State, Sex Pervert!"

Bailey: [to Herb] Continuity is so important. Thank you for always being a jerk.