Jerry Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Theresa

Alex!

Jerry

What are you doing? (to the press) This is a prank. You can all go now. Sorry!

(starts to walk off mumbling in agreement)

Alex

No! It's true! Look! Those are my bothers! They're wizards too!

Mason

And I'm a werewolf! Grr! Hiss! Grr!

Jerry

We're gonna watch TV? Oh, now I really wish they had a food court. I can't watch TV without a corn dog.

Theresa

(grabs her purse and pulls out a corn dog in a bag) Here, I was saving it to keep you quiet at church...just eat it. (she gives it to him and he takes a bite of it)

Jerry

Hey Justin. It looks like you are going to win the wizard competition, so I am going to pass the family robe down to you now.

Justin

Ah, what an honor.

Jerry

Take good care of it.

Alex

I have finished my oil painting.

Harper

Coconut cream pies are done.

Max

This is a box of mud.

Alex

Mom, dad, I have some really exciting news. I've decided to get back in the Wizard Competition.

Theresa

(distracted by Skee Ball) It's in the drawer with the dead batteries. A hundred, Jerry!

Alex

Are you even listening? I am going to win the Wizards Competition so Mason and I can be together.

Jerry

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, honey. (reaches into pocket) Here's twenty dollars. (hands to Alex) Take your own candy. (rolls ball) Ah haha! A hundred and fifty points, Theresa!

Mason

Let me try. I ate Dean today.

(stop playing) What?!

Alex

He said we're going to the movies. Bye! (the episode ends as Alex and Mason run down the street)

Alex

Justin, please tell me-oooh, cotton candy! (takes a piece of the swirl)

Jerry

Max was in it.

Alex

[drops the cotton candy]

[after hanging up the phone] That was Mr. Laritate. He wants to know when Max is returning to school.

Jerry

How are we gonna send Max back to school when he's still "Maxine?" Does he really need to go?

Maxine

[talking to a customer] Okay one BLT coming up. [turns to his mom] Hey Mom, how do you spell BLT?

[looks at Jerry incredulously]

Jerry

...Yeah, he needs to go to school.

Theresa

Harper, honey, we don't want to say that it's a bad idea, but it's just-

Jerry

No Theresa, I think we do want to say that's a bad idea.

Harper

What is so bad about a slumber party? It's what every girl dreams of. If they never experience one they go through life never knowing the joys of friendship cemented with all that giggling, secrets, popcorn, singing, texting, movies, games, pillow fights and-

Theresa

Harper! You never had a slumber party, had you?

Harper

How'd you know?