What I Like About You · Season 4
What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the firehouse. Holly is in Vermont. I was supposed to be alone tonight, peaceful and happy, like how I was before the incident.
Oh, you mean the drunken marriage incident?
Can you not use the full title? Because that makes me look bad...
Okay, stop it! Charlie, Vic can't be your best man. See, we're married.
What? You married your brother? (to Vic) Can you do that now?
Charlie?
Urggh! And we made out! You're sick, lady!
Val, didn't you just hear Charlie? I mean, I have said the exact words to you, "We're soulmates. I know things happened fast, but we were meant to be. I know in my gut, you're the one for me." I mean, we were even wearing the same outfits.
No, your cape is black, his was red.
Look, Val - I finally get it, okay. I get why you keep keeping fighting us, I get why you keep pushing me away. I must look like a nut to you, too.
Well, sometimes you feel like a nut.
Holly, there's something I have to tell you and it's really embarassing.
Tell me - you know, you can tell me anything.
I just wanted tonight to be so perfect and I got... poison ivy.
What?
Yeah, I got it bad and you can't touch me - it's highly contagious.
Oh, let me get you some-
No, I'm just- I'm just gonna sleep it off.
You can sleep off poison ivy?
Starve a cold, sleep off a poison ivy!
Why doesn't Val love me? I mean, okay, I'm not her brother, but I have other things I can offer - children with one head.
(his cell phone rings) Oh, hey - hold your pain.
And why did you lie to me? I checked out your body last night when you were sleeping and you don't have any red dots or hives or bumps, and I checked everywhere.
I feel so violated...
All right, here's your crap. Now get out.
Honey, your dad is coming all the way from Japan. Why can't I meet my father-in-law?
Because your father-in-law doesn't know he's a father-in-law. And he ain't goin' find out because you're not coming back until he's gone.
Okay, so what you're saying is, you want me back.
Who am I kidding? My dad's going to love you. Even if your pants have holes... and cheese?
Crap! I'm wearing my cheese pants!
Dad, I want you to meet my boyfriend.
(holds out his hand) Uh, this isn't pee, I was just wiping off cheese.
(doesn't take Vince's hand) You'll forgive me. Pleasure to meet you, Henry.
(Holly shakes her head)
Ben.
Actually, it's Vince.
I'm making a joke...
Vic? Vic! Have you met Val's-
Personal trainer! What are you doing here, personal trainer?
Uh, well, we have the appointment for personal training.
Uh, well, I'm going to have to cancel that, seeing as my dad's here. I won't be able to see you all week.
You have a personal trainer? What a great idea...
Why, do you think I'm fat?
(loud whisper) What is wrong with you?
(loud whisper) Me? What is wrong with you?
(loud whisper) I just want five minutes alone with Dad so I can show him what a success I've become.
(loud whisper) Well, I really want him to like Vince, and Vince has already made a horrible impression!
Okay, you're not whispering.
Don't you have a client there tonight, trainer?
Yes, but you just cancelled.
Ah, well, hi there, Daddy! Pardonez-moi, pardonez-moi. The girls did not tell me you were tall, silver, and handsome! Call me Mommy, just let me feel the beat of that.
(to Vic as they are running) Come on! I got 3 inch heels on and I'm still runnin' faster than you! Is this how you run into a burning building?
Hey, I'm doing it on purpose, I'm watching you from behind - very sexy.
Too sexy? Oh great. Now daddy's gonna think I'm a whore. Earlier today, he told me I was fat. Now I'm a fat whore.
C'mon, we only have an hour alone with Daddy if you're going to make a better second first impression!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's What I Like About You pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
