As soon as we figure out our next venture, I want to get a bigger place. I'm thinking generic mexican pharmaceuticals. Sell them to old people with no insurance. What do you think?
S4 E12Till We Meet Again
[after confessing to Doug of having sex with Maria] It will never happen again.
MMaria (Mermex)
[to Andy] It will. It will happen many times.
[to her daughter] And I'm sorry for the massive body issues I have given you. And I'm sorry for judging your lifestyle choice. If you want to love the ladies, love those ladies. Vagina power! I'll buy you a big strap-on for Hanukkah.
S5 E1Wonderful Wonderful
[getting a phone call from Celia's kidnapper] Hello?... Yeah, I know Celia... We're all gonna die. What does that mean anyway? Life is cheap, people die and people have babies... Everyday they're having babies! What's with that? Kidnapper man, I mean, women in their forty's are having babies, doesn't that seem weird to you?... What? No, I'm not gonna pay the ransom... Allo?... Rude.
[a phone call wakes her up] Hello?
RRudolpho
I have your friend.
What? Who is this? What friend?
RRudolpho
Your friend Celia. I have her and you pay me money or she dies.
Celia?
RRudolpho
Celia Hodes! I have kidnapped her and today I chop off her ear.
How Van Gogh.
RRudolpho
What? You send me $40,000 or I'll do it!
That's too early for this, we're really not friends.
RRudolpho
Okay, $30,000... [Nancy hangs up]
It's so wonderful wonderful.
What?
You once said that to me.
S5 E10Perro Insano
AKDr. Audra Kitson
Name one jazz musician.
[pauses, thinking] ...Dr. Teeth.
S5 E11Ducks and Tigers
You are not having anymore beer, that was a special occasion... You got shot.
Weren't Lawn Darts banned?
EEsteban
When you boys are finished crying it's your turn.
(To Shane) He's taunting us.
He's trying to act like a father. (Silas starts picking up the Darts) Father's taunt...when we went jogging Dad told me I was so slow Stephen Hawking could beat me in a foot-race. Then he collapsed, puked twice and died. (Shane laughs and looks up) Who's the better jogger now? (Silas gives him a concerned look)
S5 E12Glue
DDriver
Some idiot is standing in front of the car.
Oh that's no idiot that's my...actually you're right.
(out of breath) I was parking when you were pulling away and I was all 'Hey, Nancy!' but you couldn't hear me so I started running which is harder then it looks.
Driver: Should I keep driving?
Yes
Andy: Yeah, sure. On a bit of a buzz here, adrenaline rush or anticipation. I'm a man on a mission Nance, a man with a plan. What could that plan be? she asks herself intrigued yes, perhaps even captivated by the-
Nancy: Shut. Up
(short pause) Okay here it goes-
You never listen-
I listen-
You don't.
I trying to tell you something big that's happening in my life.
Major event for Andy? You going to Candy Mountain?
Does it always have to be about you?
S5 E13All About My Mom
Hey, I know all the best rehabs. I'm totally addicted to that show Intervention.
A croquet mallet; I couldn't find a golf club.
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