SShoshanna
Max is very much in need right now of a firm gentle hand. Trust me, I know what to do.
S2 E9The Family Portrait
S2 E10Open House
Hey do you know anyone who's happy?
No.
TCTara and Charmaine's mom
Oh honey, you're so pretty, but you've always made decisions like an ugly girl.
I feel so bad for breeders. Being gay is like living in a buffet.
And people say romance is dead.
Do you do that to me? Make up wildly heightened emotions just to manipulate me into being there for you?
Of course not. Only to mom.
I get it your rich - whoop diddly Dee...Zack can have anything he wants.
ZZack
That remains to be seen.
S2 E11To Have and to Hold
Is every single thing just lurking beneath the surface?
I hope not.
He kissed each one of my eyelids. It was as close to perfect as I ever felt.
Don't forget to be yourself.
Ha ha and ha mom.
S2 E12From This Day Forward
[to Charmaine about their father on her wedding day] You're going to let a man who basically gave you away, give you away?
Mom's going to do that thing where she holds up her arms open like she's a warm person.
Max, could you do me a favor and hot-glue gun her lips together?
A person who stands for nothing, spends their life sitting down.
Just so you know, I'm tired. I need to sit down sometimes.
Deep down inside, you believe marriage is for pussies and dicks.
ZZach
I would have to say yes.
He told me we have a brother.
A brother? Come on.
Yes. He said it in a totally disjointed, early Alzheimer's dad-like way, but he said you and your sister have a half-brother and I was married before I met your mom.
Well, let's see. Dad thinks Bob Hope is still alive.
S3 E1...youwillnotwin...
[Looking at the camcorder's viewfinder that shows a zoom-in on Neil's exposed ass-crack above his trousers' waistline] That's not an ass-crack, it's a full-blown *ass-chasm*.
S3 E3The Full Fuck You Finger
Please tell me you're looking at porn.
Well, if porn is a disastrous baby shower, then... yeah. Big-Tim.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's United States of Tara pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.