[to Charmaine about their father on her wedding day] You're going to let a man who basically gave you away, give you away?
Mom's going to do that thing where she holds up her arms open like she's a warm person.
Max, could you do me a favor and hot-glue gun her lips together?
A person who stands for nothing, spends their life sitting down.
Just so you know, I'm tired. I need to sit down sometimes.
Deep down inside, you believe marriage is for pussies and dicks.
I would have to say yes.
He told me we have a brother.
A brother? Come on.
Yes. He said it in a totally disjointed, early Alzheimer's dad-like way, but he said you and your sister have a half-brother and I was married before I met your mom.
Well, let's see. Dad thinks Bob Hope is still alive.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's United States of Tara pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.




