Tara quotes from United States of Tara

Tara

It's an apron relax.

Tara

Nothing else is going to happen between us because I am trouble, okay? I am trouble.

Tara

Honey has it occurred to you that now that I am better you are just looking for another project.

Tara

Hey Charm - you're going to be a great mother.

Oh honey, you're so pretty, but you've always made decisions like an ugly girl.

Tara

[to Charmaine about their father on her wedding day] You're going to let a man who basically gave you away, give you away?

Tara

Am I high?

Marshall

Maybe a little bit.

Tara

Listen, I want to thank you for being such a strong, supportive kid. I'm lucky.

Marshall

We're lucky, Mom. Because of you, we get to be interesting.

Tara

Do you like being interesting?

Marshall

I love it!

Tara

[as Alice] What is it?

Kate

Just having a weird day.

Tara

Well, snap yourself out of it. We're here to have a nice dinner.

Kate

I don't wanna have a nice dinner.

Tara

Kate, I know you aren't fond of me, but I'm concerned about your development as a young woman, just like your mother. You're promiscuous. You aren't guarding your flower.

Kate

What do you want, Alice?

Tara

I want to let you know that even though I deeply disapprove of the way you carry yourself, your mother loves you very much.

Kate

[scoffs] Yeah?

Tara

Yes. She wants you to know she didn't mean to over react about those pills you brought home. She just doesn't want you being "intimate" at your age. Because she had you at 19 and that was quite a hardship.

Kate

I'm not a hardship. I'm awesome.

Tara

You're a graceless ingrate, ha.

Kate

You mean a slut? A girl who likes boys, who lets boys know she likes them? A girl who orgasm's, who moans and moans and screams in ecstasy? A girl who sucks and fucks, a girl with absolutely no back-door shyness?

Tara

That's it! I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap.

Kate

Ha ha! You've got to be kidding me.

Tara

[shoves liquid soap into Kate's face] Try me!

Tara

Why does this feel like a small victory? I bet everyone thought that I would be the one to off myself. But guess what Oak Avenue? The lady with all the personalities is not the most fucked up person on the block.

Kate

You are now.

Tara

What happened to your neck?

Max

A door-to-door werewolf.

Tara

What's going to happen to us - what's going to happen to our family?

Max

I don't know. I don't know.

Tara

Do you do that to me? Make up wildly heightened emotions just to manipulate me into being there for you?

Charmaine

Of course not. Only to mom.

Tara

Is every single thing just lurking beneath the surface?

Charmaine

I hope not.

Tara

Don't forget to be yourself.

Kate

Ha ha and ha mom.