Why does Mrs. Butterworth need to be black? And Aunt Jemima too. That's some fucked up racial pancake shit.
Mrs. Butterworth isn't black; she's just filled with syrup. She's clear.
Hmm...she's a clearcasian.
S2 E5Doing Time
Do you even know what that means?
No not really.
CCourtney
Why can't you come clean with me?
Just because I don't share every single thought in my head about you does not mean that I'm a liar! You want to know the truth? Here it is. This was never a real relationship! You are so fucked up in your head that you just don't get it! You're so afraid of finding out who you really are. You'd rather be married to someone you KNOW is gay than risk being rejected by someone who could actually love you!
How could I love you, Courtney? I'm embarrassed for you! But I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Because I am a decent human being. Because I've learned in my life that as much as I want to tell my sister that she's not as clever or special as she thinks she is or tell my aunt that she's a pathological narcissist or tell my dad to wake up because my mother's D.I.D. disease is just going to bury us all. It's better to keep my goddamn mouth shut!
[Tara suddenly drops the tray of tea and begins shrieking as Gimmy emerges and begins breaking things around the living room]
Oh nice going, Marshall! I hope you like your new foster family!
S2 E8Explosive Diorama
People don't know I'm gay unless I'm blowing them.
What did you guys do together anyway? It?
Just kiss and a... little dry humping.
Must've been tough to stay dry.
Tommy Bahama is like Ed Hardy for sixty-five year old fat men.
LLynda
I gave up on the white floor bright light scene a long time ago and I feel much better here.
God stop with your pimping actions - just let a young man live his life.
I fucked up okay - I so f-ed up, but please don't put me out on the streets. Help me believe in love.
GGuy
Do you have any cake?
Cake? Why?
GGuy
I was hoping you could sit on it.
Let's see you took every single thing from my favorite place in the world and made it yours so ya know I think I will pass.
S2 E9The Family Portrait
What's going to happen to us - what's going to happen to our family?
I don't know. I don't know.
Nothing too splashy and in your face?
I might be splashy and in your face if you're not too careful
You're so wrong it's adorable.
Sometimes other peoples sh*t is just theirs.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's United States of Tara pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.