Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place Season 1 quotes

Sharon

All right girls, let's hit the cages.

Oh, I don't feel like dancing.

Sharon

The batting cages.

Sharon

You expect me to play with a team of chicks?

Hey squirt, three of us play for Boston College.

I play for Florida State.

And I play the main stage at 'Topless Topless Topless'.

Berg

I have a dream...a dream where women are free to roam all fields, not just right...but center, left, and yes -- even shortshop.

Sharon

Even pitcher?

Berg

Sorry, kitten -- that's man's work.

Pete

Who are you to tell me what I need?

Berg

I'm your doctor.

Pete

You're not well enough to be anyone's doctor.

Pete

Where do I meet this rebound girl?

Berg

I don't know. Sharon, where do guys meet you?

Berg

(to Pete) Where you going?

Pete

To the psychiatric ward. To find out why I'm friends with you.

Pete

Berg, what are we gonna do with two women that we've picked up in a bar?

Berg

Don't make me get my anatomy book.

Bill

I thought your birthday was in May.

Pete

Nope, that was just a rumour started by my birth certificate.

Berg

I think I really like her.

Pete

Why, because she doesn't fall at your feet?

Berg

And what is up with that?!?

I wouldn't miss it for anything.

Berg

Well, what if both of your legs were caught in a bear trap and...you had a cold?

I'd chew myself free and take a decongestant.

Berg

I love a girl with a plan.

Pete

Berg, I'm 24. Why did you make me 30?

Berg

You get better presents.

Pete

I don't want to be 30.

Berg

Act your age.

Pete

You're jealous, but listen buddy, I'm always gonna be Pete, you're always gonna be Berg, and we're always gonna be Pete-n-Berg.

Berg

Shut up! You've gotta believe me! Molly's like...girlfriend of the corn!

Berg

Molly has...how can I put this...horrifying scary evil violent side!

Pete

I see...that must be why she baked you muffins this morning!

Pete

Why aren't you at work.

Sharon

It's toxic Awareness day?

Pete

I can't just jump into spontanaeity