Two and a Half Men · Season 5, Episode 7
Look, don't worry, you'll grow into it.
Why couldn't I get clothes that fit now?
Yeah, well, quit going through puberty and we'll talk about it.
Quit been so cheap and we'll talk about it! [leaves]
Hey, hey, watch your mouth!
Hard to punish him for telling the truth.
So I can't even have one stupid thing in this house?
Hey, leave Jake out of this.
What I'm saying is, you got nothing to complain about. You got your food in my refrigerator, your car in my garage, and your stupid flowered towels in my guest bathroom!
Hey, those towels are very pretty! They brighten up the whole room!
They're gay, and they scream "civil union"!
They do not!
"We're here, we're queer, dry your hands on us!"
I thought I made it perfectly clear: I don't want this stupid bowl in my living room.
No, you said you didn't want it on the front table for keys, so I put it on the coffee table for candy.
Well, now it's on your head for a hat.
[puts the bowl on Alan's head]
Before we got here, this was just a big empty space where you just sat around, got drunk, and had casual sex with women you don't even care about. There was no love, no family, and no meaning.
There's a word for that, Alan: "Utopia"!
[Alan and Jake move in with Evelyn after Charlie kicks them out]
Oh, great. Now we have to put on clothes for breakfast.
That's the least of our problems. All our leather gear is in the guest room.
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