Two and a Half Men · Season 4, Episode 7
[She's pregnant] Hi.
Hi.
Yeah... I'm not sure I have the right address.
No, you got the right address. Charlie, it's for you!
Who is it?
Karma!
What?
Your chickens have come home to roost.
Chickens? Karma? Alan, what the hell are you talking...
[Charlie sees Naomi]
Ohhhhhh. Charlie, it's for you!
Hey... Great...to see you...again.
Yeah, I don't think we've met.
Really?
Really.
(Shoves Alan) Are you trying to give me a stroke?!?
Charlie, Alan, I'd like you to meet my youngest daughter Naomi. The light of my life. A little angel who swooped down from Heaven and landed on a married man's penis.
When Judith was pregnant with Jake, I-- I don't know if it was hormones or pheromones, but... she just couldn't get enough of me. And ever since then, every time I see a pregnant woman I just... [lustful moan]
OK, seriously, you got to stop that.
I am telling you, it was nine months of the hottest sex we've ever had, even with the morning sickness and hemorrhoids.
Oh. Maybe that explains Jake's grades.
The morning sickness and hemorrhoids?
No, the repeated blows to his unformed head.
You are-- are such an idiot. All the experts agree that sex during pregnancy is not harmful to the baby.
Experts, schmexperts. Tonight when you're sleeping, I'm gonna come in and start poking you in the ear with a hot dog. See how you like it.
Can we pull over for a minute?
In this neighborhood in a Mercedes? Sure, if you're partial to car theft and sodomy. Take a left right up here.
That's not a road.
Well, not during rainy season.
[Charlie looks at the trash cans outside Ronald's shack]
Lot of cold medicine. They must have allergies or something.
You don't watch 60 Minutes, do you?
[Berta knocks on the door. Ronald answers]
What?
You Ronald?
No.
Darlene [inside]: Ronald, who is it?
Damn it, Darlene! We're incognito, remember? [to Charlie and Berta]: You cops?
Yeah. I'm Scully; this is Mulder.
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