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S2 E3

Two and a Half Men · Season 2, Episode 3

“A Bag Full of Jawea” quotes from Two and a Half Men

5 quotes

“A Bag Full of Jawea” · Season 2, Episode 3

In this episode: Charlie (4), Jake (2), Miss Pasternak (2), Alan (1)

Well, I want it on the record that if the kid was running a blackjack game under the bleachers, he didn't necessarily get the idea from me.

Jake, I'm only your teacher from 8:15 to 3:00. After that, I'm just a person like anyone else.

Oh, this is more wrong than the time I saw Santa peeing at the mall.

[Reading Jake's test answers] Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence in....pen. For this you got an A?

Yeah, everybody did. I love you Uncle Charlie [Runs to his room]

I think you know what you have to do.

Um... break up with Miss Pasternak, right?

Hell, no, he's [Jake] getting A's. He hasn't gotten an A since nap time in kindergarten.

But he's not learning anything!

Charlie, get your priorities straight; I'm trying to get him into a decent middle school! After he's accepted, he can learn that Sacajawea wasn't... [reading Jake's test answer]: "a bag full of Jawea".

OK, I gotta tell you, my weirdness bar for chicks is pretty high... but you are clearing it in street shoes.

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