I'd like to take a moment to talk about my brother and his incredible love for life.
He also loved being back for a week.
MMichelle
…while wearing my panties.
He used my panties to make tea.
“Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt” · Season 9, Episode 1
In this episode: Alan (4), Walden (3), Lydia (1), Miss Pasternak (1)
That's Okay brother.
Oh, I'm sorry I made you spill him.
That's okay, that's okay. I'll Dustbust him later.
You know what, I'll get out of your way. Thank you for letting me use your phone.
(Walden and Alan, in a bar, talking about Judith and Alan's divorce)
Why did she (Judith) leave you?
Not a clue, she's a crazy bitch.
So, just out of curiosity, how does someone get to be worth so much money?
Well, it's pretty simple, really. You ever hear of BlunGogo.com?
No.
You never will, because Microsoft bought it from me for $1.3 Billion. Then they bundled it with their "iPod killer," the Zune.
Really? I don't think it came with my Zune.
You bought a Zune?
I had a coupon.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two and a Half Men pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.