Jessica Hamby quotes from True Blood

Bill

[to Sookie, about Jessica] You undermined my authority as her maker! You risked those people's safety and your own! If I had not glamoured them with in an inch if their sanity, both our lives would have shattered!

Sookie

I know. I'm sorry!

Bill

You keep sayin' that and I am expected to what? Forget this ever happened?

Sookie

What else do you want me to say? I know when she asked me to take her, I should say no. But all I could think about was Gran and what I would give to see her again.

Bill

That does not give you license to behave like an irresponsible child! She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with!

Bill

What are you doing?

Sookie

Walking!

Bill

Don't be ridiculous. Bon Temps is nearly 20 miles away!

Sookie

[walking away] I'd rather walk all night then spend another second in that car with you!

Jessica

[to Bill, after he gets back in the car] She wants you to go after her. She wants you to go after her and kiss her and tell her that you love her.

Bill

She will come back, when she calms down... she will come back.

Bill

[after Hoyt leaves] We established there was to be no hunting in this house.

Jessica

I know you feel like shit because you had to make me and you should feel like shit! But guess what? I'd never kissed a boy before that. Meetin' Hoyt is the only good thing that's happened to me since... my whole new life started. No, I'm not ready for any thing to happen to fast. I-I'd been happy just to go on kissin' him all night long... Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on? [realizes what that means and runs up stairs]

Sookie

I think I'm gonna like her.

Bill

Sookie, do not make the mistake of thinkin' you two can be girlfriends. She is...

Sookie

Yeah, I get it. She's a vampire. Believe me, I learned my lesson about that.

Jessica

I'd have totally been a slut if I coulda gotten away with it. Me and my friend, Lori, we had this bet since eighth grade over who'd lose it first. And she was like pregnant before I even got my first kiss and my dad was such a dick head. So what's your excuse?

I was gonna wait, you know, till I met the right one. Well the right one never showed up. By then I had waited so long, I figured I couldn't give it away to just anybody. So now I'm twenty-eight... most girls probably think I'm like some kinda bi-sexual gay or somethin'. Not that I got any kind of problem with them. But I'm not.

Jessica

I'm not most girls. I'm not even a girl, technically. But if you're okay with it... I'd be your first.

Jessica

I'll get used to it. Maybe there's an operation. I can't be the only vampire virgin.

You know, intercourse isn't the only way to have sex.

Jessica

But I want to have intercourse.

Well sure... We can do everything when we figure out how.

Jessica

You should break up with me.

Hell no. That thing that grows back, it's just a thing. I ain't perfect either. I'm the guy people laugh at.

Jessica

So Pam, when you're feedin' on someone, how do you not kill 'em?

Pam

Bill didn't teach you that?

Jessica

Bill doesn't want me to feed on people. And now he's gone, and...

Pam

It's in the heartbeat. You feel it in the blood.

Steve Newlin

I am Steve fucking Newlin. Who the fuck are you?

Jessica

Who the fuck I am is an older vampire than you. Who I also am is the progeny of the King of Louisiana, who happens to be out of town, which pretty much makes me the Queen.

Jason

You know, you say you’re not all the same, but really, what’s the difference? I mean, you just drank from some dude you don’t even know.

Jessica

Yeah, and I suppose you know every cow you’ve eaten.

Jason

What the fuck kind of question is that? I ain’t never fucked a cow.

Jessica

Oh, it’s a metaphor, idiot!

Jason

Hey, fuck you, fanger.

Ms. Hamby, awaiting your order.

Jessica

You shot me in the head.

Jason

So what? It’ll fucking heal. So will I.

Jessica

Get the fuck out of my mansion.

Jessica

Who are you?

My name's James.

Jessica

Do you know what we're doing here, James?

They want us to fuck.

Jessica

Who wants us to fuck? [James motions to the one way mirror] But I- I don't know you.

They don't care.

Jessica

I guess that shouldn't surprise me.

Don't worry, okay? [to the people behind the mirror] I'm not doing anything.

Spotlight.

Yes, sir. [James is burned with sunlight]

[to the mirror] I'm a vampire, not a rapist.

Jason

[under his breath] Jesus Christ, thank you.

Sarah

Zap him again.

Yes, ma'am. [James is burned with sunlight]

Jessica

Oh, God. James?

[looking at the mirror] Yeah?

Jessica

Let's just do it. [to the mirror] We'll do it, all right? [unbuttoning her shirt] We'll put on a show for y'all.

Don't.

Jessica

We'll just get it over with so, you know... It's going to feel like I'm a virgin, but I'm not.

[stopping her from taking off her pants] No fucking way, okay? You're a beautiful person, and you don't deserve this.

Jessica

I'm not a person. Yeah, I do.

[yelling at the mirror] Fuck you and your lights!

Jessica

(to Bill) You said you were Bill again.

Bill

I am.

Jessica

Yeah, well, the Bill Compton I knew would've walked through fire to save her life.

Bill

There's no time now.

Jessica

Bullshit! Yeah maybe you were an asshole but right now you have the opportunity to make this right. At the beginning of all of this you said I had to protect your humanity. Please do not make a failure outta me.