Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Season 12
Season 13
Season 14
Season 15
Season 16
Season 17
Season 18
Jeremy: How can you get... there's no wild tortoises here.
Richard: Well, they gotta be somewhere.
Jeremy: It's escaped from some 8-year-old girl's bedroom.
Richard: How can a tortoise escape? [pretends to chase a tortoise in slow motion] Come back! Come back!
[Jeremy laughs]
Richard: Well, they gotta be somewhere.
Jeremy: It's escaped from some 8-year-old girl's bedroom.
Richard: How can a tortoise escape? [pretends to chase a tortoise in slow motion] Come back! Come back!
[Jeremy laughs]
Jeremy: If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn; you got your Best Western; you got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude. It's not the holiday programme--it's the truth.
Jeremy: That's the inside of the Mazda... that's not Bauhaus. That's my trousers.
Jeremy: You went to art school--you should be good at this.
Richard: Did you go to art school?
Jeremy: No I didn't.
Richard: Then you wouldn't know. All you do at art school is drink and pursue women.
Richard: Did you go to art school?
Jeremy: No I didn't.
Richard: Then you wouldn't know. All you do at art school is drink and pursue women.
Jeremy:[on Lamborghini Murciélago's options price list after mentioning the 'flappy paddle' gearbox was £6,000] You need a flappy paddle head to spend that
Museum Expert: What does it symbolize?
Jeremy: The Audi?
Museum Expert: Yes.
Jeremy: It symbolises... [pause] freedom...? [making reference to the film Braveheart] freedom...! like that.
Jeremy: The Audi?
Museum Expert: Yes.
Jeremy: It symbolises... [pause] freedom...? [making reference to the film Braveheart] freedom...! like that.
Richard: [imitating a lorry driver in Florida] It's raining, I'm going north and I'm looking for a whore!
Richard: I'm thinking how long I've been out in the sun, putting that tent up. Because what I'm seeing--and you'll love this--is a cow on the roof of your Camaro.
Richard: Oh... my God.
Jeremy: [proudly] It's a giant Panda! Never before bred in captivity.
Richard: [impressed] That is a big Panda.
Jeremy: [proudly] It's a giant Panda! Never before bred in captivity.
Richard: [impressed] That is a big Panda.
Richard: There's only 2 knobs in it, well, 3 if you count the one who bought it.
Richard: What does this do?
James: No, don't pull that - !
Jeremy: [losing control of the Alfaab] Oh my GOD WHAT'S HAPPENED?!
James: Hammond's unlocked the steering!
Richard: Sorry!
James: You're in the wrong end, you idiot!
[...]
James: You pair of utter pillocks. You've ruined my car.
James: No, don't pull that - !
Jeremy: [losing control of the Alfaab] Oh my GOD WHAT'S HAPPENED?!
James: Hammond's unlocked the steering!
Richard: Sorry!
James: You're in the wrong end, you idiot!
[...]
James: You pair of utter pillocks. You've ruined my car.