TV show quotes
[On the price of a Hummer H2]
And it seems like quite a lot, when you peel away this amazing body and find out what's underneath. Yep, underneath the abs and the pecs is a GMC Tahoe, which is ugly, big, slow, and is completely flummoxed by snow, mud, gravel, soil, grass clippings, drizzle, or even a light breeze.
[On the Hummer H2]
And it stops like a duck on a frozen lake.
[On the Hummer H2]
It's a Roman orgy, a Hawaiian barbecue, a Viennese waltz, and a helicopter gunship attack on Las Vegas, all rolled into one... it's fantastic!
[Regarding Clarkson's review of the Hummer H2]
You're not seriously suggesting that this... revolting, plastic fronted piece of pig-iron is a serious alternative to something like an X5?
[...]
Size is important in these things. [beams]
That's a little harsh.
This is the Talon riot control vehicle. Big, innit?
Now that is what I call a control panel. Grenade launcher. Impulse generator! Lovely.
Well, if things get really nasty, I can always get stupid and just headbutt stuff.
[crashes the Talon through a portacabin]
[On the Aston Martin V8 Vantage]
Going on sale in 2005, so have you just ordered a Porsche 911 recently? [sniggers, audience laughs].
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Richard and James enjoy life under canvas; an Alfa Romeo waving its arms around; and Darth Vader, in a Honda Civic TIE Fighter R.
[on the Nissan 350Z]
[voiceover] Well, to be honest, I think it looks a bit of a mess. But then it would, because it's a Japanese car designed in America. And the head of the whole project was a chap called Ajay Panchal, who's an Indian. From Leicester. And the engine? Well, that's French. Incongruously, it's the three-and-a-half-litre V6 from the Renault Vel Satis.
[at the wheel] We've had fusion food before, but this is the first time that I've ever encountered a fusion car. Think of it as being a raw-hamburger curry served in a disinterested way on a bed of garlicky jus.
I could go very, very berserk at this point. But - two things are stopping me. One, the noise. It's driving me mad. And secondly, it was on this very road that the drummer with a band called Def Leppard crashed his muscle car, a Corvette, and as a result of that he now has to drive with a knob on his steering wheel.
[causing various bits of the 350Z's internal trim to rattle]
I've seen better build quality on an allotment shed.
The thing is that Nissan have now said, "Aha, but the car you drove was sort of for a, I don't know, a small market in the south of France or somewhere." The British ones, which are going on sale in...
'Bout, September, autumn sometime.
Yeah, September, October - are going to have better suspension, bigger fuel tank, different aerodynamics, better interior trim, traction control as standard - going to be completely different.
Which rather begs the question, why did they say "There's our new car! See what you think. It won't be anything like that, obviously, but there it is anyway."
It's a terrible shame Jeremy didn't like the 350Z - I wondered if he might be interested in the 350Z watch. It's a very large watch with a very small face. What do you think of that?
It'll probably go TICK TOCK! TIIIICK TOCK and be very heavy.
This is a true story and I am ashamed of it. I was driving along, Ford Galaxy, magnolia leather, curry on the passenger seat. A drunk bloke walked into the road. Instinctively, I braked. I saw the curry tip, I thought, "That's my dinner," I not only took my foot off the brake, I put it back on the throttle! Anyway, if anyone here is interested, I've developed a special new car sticker that says BHUNA ON BOARD.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
