James May quotes from Top Gear

James

Say you wanted to bang in a nail. You could belt it really hard with a little hammer, or you could give it a tap with a really big one. The Aston's engine is a sledgehammer.

James

They've brought the wrong cars.

James

There's nothing raucous about its V6 engine. It rides more smoothly than a Rolls-Royce Corniche. And it's trimmed like a first-class cabin on the Titanic. Before it sank.

James

The problem with the Morgan is, it's just a car they forgot to stop making in the forties.

James

This is a bathroom appliance.

James

Have a look at this, this is our - Jeremy's - bar bill from the Isle of Man trip. [allows large stack of fanfold printer paper to fall to the floor] That's a huge number of fruit-based drinks.

James

There's normally something really tragic about the bottom of the range. You know, the 1.6 version. A little boot badge that says you're on the bottom rung. And you sit there in a world of velour looking at a little - a little slot on the dashboard where you know there would be a switch if this was a posh version, but instead you've got a little bit of plastic that just blanks it off. And you can't help driving along and thinking, "If I'd just paid a bit more attention at school and if I'd just worked a bit harder, I'd have air conditioning."

James

This car has that magic X-factor that we like so much on Top Gear. You'd sort of expect it to be really boring, but then when you drive it, you discover it makes perfect sense. I mean, here's a Jaguar that saves you a shedload of cash, and in return, all it asks is that you just press the pedal a bit harder. That's it!

James

I don't know quite what bling is, but this must be it! [pointing to FAB 1]

James

[sitting in the car in the studio] So, I aks [sic] you, is I bling?

James

Well... It's been good. I met Jodie Kidd... and Stephen Fry.

James

[rather upbeat] That was probably the most unpleasant thing I've ever done!

James

I had to fill out a questionnaire, have my passport looked at, show my driving licence, have a medical and at no point did they ask if I had a sense of direction!

James

Right...we need to go... right, left, left, right, left, again... [turns the wrong way and curses loudly]

James

[On the Volvo V50] There's a touch of Ikea to all this, but, reassuringly, an expert has put it all together.

James

[on the Monaro's high gearing and enormous torque] Here I am, doing sixty miles an hour, in top gear [6th], and the engine is turning over at 1,500rpm - 1500! It's idling! You fat Aussie slacker!