[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: just the thing for an already confused world, another Porsche 911; we get sand in the trunks of 3 muscle cars; and how many bouncy castles can you jump in an ice-cream van?
“October 24th, 2004” · Season 5, Episode 1
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (7), James May (2)
(About the Porsche 996) "[...] it wasn't so much a car, more a place where a fat, balding, middle-aged man could go off and have his mid-life crisis... I liked it a lot!"
[on the Monaro's high gearing and enormous torque] Here I am, doing sixty miles an hour, in top gear [6th], and the engine is turning over at 1,500rpm - 1500! It's idling! You fat Aussie slacker!
[Testing the Chrysler 300C on the beach] Stop interfering, you piece of... cheap electronic tat!
[On the Porsche 997 Carrera] So to sum up. The new Carrera is pretty much the same as old one except the gear lever comes off. This, however, is not a standard Carrera. This is a Carrera S. And the S stands for: So, fat, balding, middle-aged man, go and have your mid-life crisis somewhere else.
[On the Porsche 911 range] "And then the 3.8 S with the chrono sport pack, for thin, chiselled-jawed people who have no friends. Like the Stig, for instance!"
"The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won't let me turn the traction control off!"
[On the Hummer aftershave]
It comes in a jerrycan of repressed homosexuality.
[voice-over during the drifting challenge] The Monaro did beat the Jag but now it's the turn of the Chrysler.....and oh dear!
[in the car]The Americans lectured the world on democracy and then WON'T LET ME TURN THE TRACTION CONTROL OFF! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG BAD DANGEROUS MUSCLE CAR! [American accent] But sir, you may hurt yourself! [normal voice again] A car designed by health and safety this one.
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