Oh, so you like - you need more saliva? Well ladies and gentlemen I have no doubt we can oblige with that! How do you know it's synthetic and it isn't just some bloke... [Imitates spitting into a bottle] Bottle it!
What, going around at five thousand RPM, be going rrrrr...! It would have to be this... [holds out arms] be wider than the car just to get the dial in!
You worked that out? For -- your -- car? You spent time -- WOW! So you must actually have done everything there is to do in the whole world to get to the bottom of the list of everything a human being can do -- what's it like on the top of Everest? Is it good?
No, I think the price will come down, you know once -- what's he called -- Brad Cruise and Leonardo DiClooney. Once they've bought six hundred each, then the price will drop. And I guess once they've made a few of them they'll get better at the reliability.
Exactly with this sort of thing you can buy a bottle of red wine for 2.99, 3.99 in the shops. If you get a bottle of red wine with the Alfa Romeo logo on it, it's 15 quid.
Jeremy
Oh I can beat that May. This is an ice scraper OK. It's covered in Santa's pubes, it's got SAAB written on it... £38.50.
It's given us an idea. [produces a plate of vomit, to groans from the audience] See this? It is a plate of sick. Now it is utterly worthless. But if I just pop a BMW badge on it, £13.80.
[produces a false arm clad in a baggy purple sleeve] It does work, this sort of branding. This wizard's sleeve for instance.[Clarkson laughs madly] Absolutely WORTHLESS, but it bears a Ferrari badge. 45 pounds. [Audience pays attention to what James has]
Hello and and welcome to a sea of disappointed faces. Because these people have driven all the way down here today only to find the show isn't actually coming from here today.
[voiceover] Delighted that for once the producers had been generous, we headed for the showrooms. [out loud] I love having inches of money! [voiceover] But our joy was short lived as James discovered when he tried to buy a bog-standard Fiat 500.
[meeting up after finding the money they've been given isn't in fact worth very much]
Jeremy
I'll tell you the problem, is cars only came to Vietnam a few years ago, ok--four or five years ago? They've got the two hundred percent import tax on them, they haven't had time--in the four or five years since they've been here--to get cheap.
Tell you what I will say, it's actually very pretty. But it's going to be useless because whatever the challenge is, tiny wheels and looking good--that's not going to help.
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Jeremy
