Jeremy Clarkson quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK!

Jeremy

TOTAL WIPEOUT IS JUST IDIOTS FALLING OVER, TALK ABOUT OUR ART EXHIBITION!

Jeremy

We apologise for that terrible mistake, we have an art exhibition at the Mima Gallery, we have Ferreris, Lamborghinis, Richard Hammond's Land Rover!

Jeremy

Oh and there's one more thing, Nottingham, you can't come!

Jeremy

[voice over] The away supporters responded with good grace...

Jeremy

It is extraordinary, if you think about it. In South America, there are no elephants, kangaroos, lions, hyenas, honey badgers, nothing interesting at all. It's all just insects designed to make you have a debilitating, agonising death.

Jeremy

At the border post we were given the traditional welcome.

Jeremy

[from within] MY ARSE!

Jeremy

Richard Hammond was the smallest living organism for miles!

Jeremy

I have a teddy bear. I've had it since the day I was born. One of its arms has fallen off, one of its eyes is missing, his head's come off more times than I can mention. To you it would be worthless junk, but to me it means everything, and it's the same story with this car.

Jeremy

Tonight, the stupidest car in the world. A Vauxhall you might actually like. And who has won what in the Top Gear awards ceremony?

Jeremy

Some say that he has to take his shoes off with an Allen key. And that his new year's resolution is to eat fewer mice. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Jeremy

There was the time when James May, whilst following the Range Rover camera car, somehow managed to lose sight of it for a moment and then start following an entirely different Range Rover. And he failed to notice for an hour that it didn't have a camera crew in it and was in fact nothing to do with Top Gear at all.

Jeremy

Tonight, on new serious Top Gear, James catches fire, Richard knocks something over, and I crash a Reliant Robin into a lamp post.

Jeremy

Some say that his discharge is luminous, and that even as we speak, he is appearing on the main stage at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit, Superstition. All we know is, he's called the Stig!

Jeremy

Tonight, James gets wet, an actual spin doctor on our track, and the Stig laps a Reliant Robin.

Jeremy

Some say there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favorite airline pilot is Mark Webber. Two actually, all we know of course, he's the Stig!

Jeremy

The only reason you two didn't buy a Ford Sierra Sapphire Cosworth is because you've forgot about it.

Jeremy

Tonight, Richard drives a muscle car, I wear some unusual trousers and there's a wizard in our Reasonably Priced Car.