A character in Top Gear
Played by Jeremy Clarkson
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 1,331 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Richard Hammond (406), James May (323), Stephen Ladyman (5)
[on the Stig.]
JeremySome say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of I'm A Celebrity because he is scared of trees... and Australia... and Koo Stark... and Ant... and Dec. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
[during the opening credits.]
JeremyTonight, in a well-balanced show, James gets egg on his face, Richard runs himself over, and I powerslide the new Aston Martin DBS.
[on the Stig.]
JeremySome say that he knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong. And that 61 years ago he accidentally introduced Her Majesty The Queen to a Greek racialist. All we know is, I'm going to the tower now to have my head cut off, and he is called The Stig.
[pointing to the Aston Martin DB9]
JeremySo it's Keira Knightley... [pointing to the Aston Martin DBS] or Keira Knightley, dressed in Puff Diddley's jewellery.
[In an attempt to prove British Leyland made some good cars, James has to drive over a cobbled road with a colander full of eggs over his head]
JeremyHe looks like a spaniel that's crashed into the back of a hen!
[when his ignition key wouldn't turn]
JeremyWhich slovenly Midlander built this?
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: Compo takes me for a spin in a car from his youth. Richard tries to drive a fast car without crashing, and Lewis Hamilton faces his toughest challenge yet: The Suzuki Liana.
[on the Stig]
JeremySome say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless ginger gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us. All we know is, he's called The Stig.
Jeremy[singing badly] Weeeeeee're all going daahn the pub! (aping a Sham 69 song)
[During Hamilton's lap, Lewis begins to sing]
JeremyAre you taking this seriously?
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: We take part in our first ever motor race. James tests the new Fiat 500 near some youths on bicycles. And the Ascari A10. Just how fast is this thing?
[on the Stig]
JeremySome say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north-east, and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury, because his teddy is called The Baby Jesus. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
JeremyJames will be exaggerating... [sees the car] James isn't exaggerating. [we see the car, which has indeed got no front end] And it's leaking. I watch Formula One a lot, and I've never seen a Formula One car, two hours before a race, looking like that.
[When Jeremy attempts to talk with The Stig after the car broke down]
JeremyDid it fill with smoke? Did it lose power?
[on the Stig]
JeremySome say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort pool, and he is, he is actually.
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