[during the opening credits.]
Tonight, James races a man in wellies, Richard crashes some motorhomes, and I close down Manchester Airport.
“November 18th, 2007” · Season 10, Episode 6
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (6), Richard Hammond (6), James May (6)
[starting the news]
And now the news. And I'm afraid it's very bad; Jeremy Clarkson has a cold.
[as he sits down] I have NOT got a cold, I've got bird flu.
[Audience laughs]
I have. I am now living breathing proof, soon to not be living or breathing, that it can jump species.
Wow... but hey, this means it's just one step away from humans.
[on petrol going up to a pound a litre.]
And it's a good job your car doesn't run on bull semen.
Well it is, yes. But why?
Because you know how much bull semen is?
Do you know? I can't remember off the top of my head.
24,000 pounds a litre.
No way!
[still on petrol going up to a pound a litre...]
I filled my car up with petrol a couple of months ago, do you know how much that cost?
Well no...
90 pounds.
... big car, 85 pounds.
No! 35,000 pounds.
You filled it up with bull sperm you idiot!
[after explaining why he (Jeremy) paid 35,000 pounds on petrol.]
I reckoned you spent it on bull sperm.
Did you not notice the pump was different?
[laughing, with the audience laughing as well]
[imitates a bull noise]. It keeps moving! Now it's chasing me! I don't want it any more.
[audience laughs]
I've got bird flu. Be nice.
[on the Alfa-Romeo 159.]
Now, Alfa-Romeo has launched a replacement for its 156, which is called the 159.
Oh actually James, that was launched two years ago.
Yes it was, but we weren't paying attention.
[on the Stig.]
Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of I'm A Celebrity because he is scared of trees... and Australia... and Koo Stark... and Ant... and Dec. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
LLawrence
[on the Premier League in football] We call it the Andrex Premiership because it's soft and unnecessarily expensive.
....and in the Transit, we've got Desperate! (i.e. James May)
[on the motorhome race]: The rules were simple. 15 laps and no body contact. [cut to scene of motorhomes crashing into each other] Mind you, we had invited touring car drivers!
I've just seen the door of a kitchen unit on the track,and that doesn't happen at Silverstone.
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