Josiah Bartlet quotes from The West Wing

Bartlet

A long flight across the night. You know why late flights are good? Because we cease to be earthbound and burdened with practicality. Asking important questions. Talking about the idea that nobody has thought about yet. Put it a different way...

Sam

Be poets.

C.J.

They sent me two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.

Bartlet

If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

Charlie

Okay, Mr. President, I say this with all possible respect, but each of these knives cut, you know, meat. Why is it important?

Bartlet

Because it's something we pass on. Something with a history so we can say, 'My father gave this to me. His father gave it to him.'

Charlie

Well, okay, sir, but if that's true, then why don't you already have one?

Bartlet

I do have one.

Charlie

Why do you need a new one?

Bartlet

I'm giving mine away.

Charlie

To who?

Bartlet

Whom.

Charlie

To whom?

Bartlet

Funny you should ask. [takes out knife case from his drawer] Charlie, my father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him, and now I'm giving it to you. Take a look. The fully tapered bolster allows for sharpening the entire edge of the blade.

Charlie

It says 'P.R.' I thought I knew them all, but I don't recognize the manufacturer.

Bartlet

Yeah. This was made for my family by a Boston silversmith named Paul Revere.

Bartlet

There are questions as to the veracity of your claim to the asylum.

Yes sir.

Bartlet

How did you become a Christian?

I began attending a house church with my wife in Fujian. Eventually, I was baptized.

Bartlet

How do you practice?

We share bibles--we don't have enough. We sing hymns. We hear sermons. We recite the Lord's Prayer. We are charitable.

Bartlet

Who's the head of your church?

The head of our parish is an 84-year-old man named Wen-Ling. He's been beaten and imprisoned many times. The head of our church is Jesus Christ.

Bartlet

Can you name any of Jesus' disciples? [beat] If you can't, that's okay. I usually can't remember the names of my kids, or for that matter...

Peter, Andrew, John, Phillip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, Thaddeus, Simon, Judas and James. [beat] Mr. President, Christianity is not demonstrated through a recitation of facts. You're seeking evidence of faith, a wholehearted acceptance of God's promise for a better world. 'For we hold that man is justified by faith alone' is what St. Paul said. 'Justified by faith alone.' Faith is the true... uh, I'm trying to... shibboleth. Faith is the true shibboleth.

Bartlet

[beat] Yes, it is. And you sir, just said the magic word in more ways than one. Thank you.

Bartlet

Sam's gonna make some changes.

Tate

Are you going to clear them with me?

Sam

Probably not. [to the recorder] Write this. Eleven months ago, a 1,200-pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Eighteen hours ago...18 hours, do I have that right? It's going to be noon Eastern time.

CJ

Yep.

Sam

Eighteen hours ago, it landed on the planet Mars. You, me, and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country, along with astroscientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in Southern California, NASA Houston, and right here at the White House are going to be to the first to see what it sees, and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called 'Galileo V.'

Bartlet

[to C.J.] He said it right.

Bartlet

[to Leo, about a Russian warhead explosion:] Leo, at the time the SS-19 exploded, it was being drained of its liquid hydrogen in an attempt by deserting soldiers to – wait for it...

Leo

Steal the warhead?

Bartlet

Steal the warhead! [to the Russian Ambassador ] When were you gonna tell us about that? You realize how dangerous–

Mr. President, you shouldn't be concerned with the welfare of the Russian people.

Bartlet

Well, I am concerned with the welfare of the Russian people, but that's not what they pay me for. You guys fall asleep at the switch in Minsk, and I've got a whole hemisphere hiding under the bed. How do you not tell us this is going on? How do you not ask us for help?

We'll not need help finding the leaders of the black market network–

Bartlet

Yeah, thanks. We're sending in NATO inspectors.

Leo and I were just discussing the terms.

Leo

The terms are we're sending in NATO or he's taking a walk to the press room.

Bartlet

[to the Russian Ambassador] Get your foreign minister on the phone. [pauses] I honestly don't know from where you guys get the nerve.

From a long, hard winter, Mr. President.

Sam

Who wrote this intro?

Tate

I did.

Sam

You're from NASA Public Affairs?

Tate

Yep.

Sam

You mind if I give it a polish?

Tate

Is there a problem?

Sam

No, it's great. You mind if I change it?

Tate

I'd prefer if you didn't.

Sam

Just the same...

Tate

The Public Affairs has cleared the text. If it's gonna be changed, I'd prefer that the President change it.

Sam

See, that's kind of what he pays me to do, so...

Tate

Look, I don't want to step on your toes. You don't want to step on mine. We're both writers.

Sam

Yes, I suppose, if you broaden the definition to those who can't spell.

Tate

Excuse me?

Bartlet

Can I see the intro?

Sam

It's up on the Prompter.

Bartlet

[reads] "Good morning! I'm speaking to you live from the West Wing of the White House. Today we have a very unique opportunity to take part live in an extremely historic event which..." Whoa, boy...

Sam

[waves and smiles] How you doing, Mr. President?

Bartlet

Who wrote this intro?

Tate

I did, sir. I'm Scott Tate from NASA Public Affairs.

Bartlet

[gets up and shakes his hand] Scott. "Unique" means "one of a kind." Something can't be very unique, nor can it be extremely historic.

C.J.

While we're at it, do we have to use the word "live" twice in the first two sentences like we just cracked the technology?

Tate

Look...

C.J.

We're also broadcasting in living color, right?

Bartlet

Sam?

Sam

Yeah.

Bartlet

Sam's gonna make some changes.

Tate

Are you going to clear them with me?

Sam

Probably not. [to the recorder] Write this. Eleven months ago, a 1,200-pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Eighteen hours ago...18 hours, do I have that right? It's going to be noon Eastern time.

C.J.

Yep.

Sam

Eighteen hours ago, it landed on the planet Mars. You, me, and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country, along with astroscientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in Southern California, NASA Houston, and right here at the White House are going to be to the first to see what it sees, and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called 'Galileo V.'

Bartlet

[to C.J.] He said it right.

Charlie

You send a Christmas card to everyone who writes a letter to the White House.

Bartlet

I do?

Charlie

Yes, sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year.

Bartlet

Okay, but some of those were death threats.

Charlie

They've weeded those out.

Bartlet

Donna wants me to call Karen Cahill and make it clear she wasn't hitting on her when she gave her her underwear.

Leo

Yeah, that's because I made fun of her shoes and Sam said there were nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and Donna went to clear up the mix up and accidentally left her underwear.

Bartlet

There can't possibly be nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan...

Leo

Mr. President, please don't wade hip deep into this story.

Josh

Why don't we just give the $60 billion to North Korea in exchange for not bombing us?

Bartlet

It's almost hard to believe that you're not on the National Security Council.

Josh

I know, I feel like they're missing an important voice.

Bartlet

Where are you on the missile shield?

Lord John Marbury

Well, I think it's dangerous, illegal...fiscally irresponsible, technologically unsound, and a threat to all people everywhere.

Leo?

Leo

I think the world invented a nuclear weapon. I think the world owes it to itself to see if it can't invent something to make it irrelevant.

Lord John Marbury

Well that's the right sentiment, certainly a credible one from a man who's fought in a war. You think you can make it stop? Well, you can't. We build a shield and somebody will build a better missile.

Bartlet

Well, it's a discussion for serious men. They say a statesman is a politician who's been dead for fifteen years. I'd like us to be statesmen while we're still alive.

Bartlet

Damn it! How the hell did it happen?

Leo

It was bad intelligence, sir.

Bartlet

You think?

Leo

Ferente left behind a radio and a soldier at the outpost. And they were deliberately sending us misinformation.

Bartlet

We never anticipated they somebody might try that? We weren't prepared for someone to try and outfox us with a stratagem so sophisticated it's an entire generation behind "Hey look, your shoelaces are untied!?" Is that how I just lost nine guys, to a damn street gang with a ham radio?

Abbey

[angry] I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about this now.

Why?

Abbey

Cause you've got to focus on Columbia.

[angry] I can do two things at once.

Abbey

You don't have two things at once, Jed. You have ninety-two things at once and one of them is five hostages in Columbia.

Yes and I'd like to go about my day without this black cloud around me so I'd like to talk now!

Abbey

And I'm saying this is a longer conversation than that. I don't want you all over the place and we can talk about it later and you should focus.

What are you, my Zen master? Can I be in charge of my own mind?!

Abbey

Let me tell you something, jackass! Get as chippy as you want if that makes you feel better. I am your wife... I love you... you have a crisis... you have to deal with it. When it's done we'll talk.

[pause] I feel better already.

I didn't make the decision to run again!

Abbey

Yes, you did! [faces him angrily] If we're gonna talk about this, let's talk about this. The moves over the last few weeks... the changes in last night's speech. This whole place is in reelection mode.

That's what we do, Abbey. We run for things! From the day a Congressman is sworn in he's got to raise $10,000 a week to get reelected! A President gets to govern for eighteen months. We try to get people to vote for us and in the process we hope the people force us to do good things.

Abbey

We had a deal!

Yes, we had a deal.

Abbey

Yes, Jed. [She walks back over and sits across from him.] Look at me! [He reluctantly looks at her.] Do you get that you have M.S.?

Abbey...

Abbey

Do you get that your own immune system is shredding your brain? And I can't tell you why. [tearfully] Do you have any idea how good a doctor I am and that I can't tell you why?

I've had one episode in two years.

Abbey

Yes, but relapsing-remitting M.S. can turn into secondary-progressive M.S. oftentimes ten years after the initial diagnosis which is exactly where we'll be in two years! Do you know what that's going to look like when it happens?

I know what it's going to...

Abbey

Fatigue... an inability to get through the day...

Look...

Abbey

...memory lapses... loss of cognitive function... failure to reason... failure to think clearly. And I can't tell you if it's going to happen. I don't know if it's going to get better I don't know if it's going to get worse. But we had a deal. And that deal is how you justified keeping it a secret from the world. It's how you justified it to God. It's how you justified it to me.

Bartlet

I hear you're thinking about ophthalmology.

Ellie

Oncology.

Bartlet

Why would you want to study people's feet?

Ellie

That's podiatry.

Bartlet

That's children's medicine.

Ellie

Pediatrics.

Bartlet

I thought it was obstetrics.

Ellie

That's pregnant women.

Bartlet

And what's the study of feet?

Ellie

Dad, you're not going to make me laugh.

Bartlet

The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day.