SGSurgeon General Griffith
[about Ellie] You frightened her.
Bartlet[incredulous] No, I didn't! How did I frighten her?
SGSurgeon General Griffith
Jed, look where you're standing!
Bartlet
I was elected two years ago! She's 24 years old!
SGSurgeon General Griffith
You've been the king of whatever room you've walked into her entire life.
Bartlet
Never seemed to intimidate Zoey or Liz.
SGSurgeon General Griffith
Well, kids are different! They're not the same! You'd be amazed, you'd be stunned, at how soon they understand they're not their father's favorite.
Bartlet
That's not true.
SGSurgeon General Griffith
Sir...
Bartlet
That's not true.
SGSurgeon General Griffith
Mr. President-
Bartlet
No, no, no! I will bear with the nonsense of the Christian right, and the Hollywood left, and the AFL-CIO, and the AARP, and the cannabis society of Japan! But I will not stand and allow someone to tell me that I love one of my children less than the others! [beat] She's frightened of me?
SGSurgeon General Griffith
She ain't the only one.
Bartlet
C.J., let me tell you something, don't ever ever underestimate the will of a grandfather. We're madmen, we don't give a damn, we got here before you and they'll be here after. We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren.
There was quite a bit of sugar in the creme' d'caramel.
Bartlet
Toby's concerned that the peaceful solution I brokered in Kashmir last year was the result of a drug-induced haze.
I was there with him. So was Fitz. So was Cashman, Hutchinson, Berryhill...
None of you were elected!
Bartlet
I was elected, they were appointed. The Vice President was elected. He has the constitutional authority to assume my--
Not last May, he didn't. Last May, when you were under general anesthesia.
Bartlet
That's because I never signed the letter, but I don't think I got shot because I got MS!
No, I don't think you did either, sir. I meant that during a night of extreme chaos and fear when we didn't yet know if we'd been the victims of domestic or foreign terrorism, or even an act of war, there was uncertainty as to who was giving the national security orders and it was because you never signed the letter. So I'm led to wonder, given your condition and it's lack of predictability, why there isn't simply a signed letter sitting in a file someplace. And the answer, of course, is that [chuckles] if there was a–a signed letter sitting in a file someplace, somebody would ask why. The Commander in Chief had just been attacked, he was under a general anesthetic, a fugitive was at large, the manhunt included every federal state and local law enforcement agency. The Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware National Guard units were federalized. The KH-10s showed Republican Guard movement in southern Iraq. And twelve hours earlier, an F-117 was shot down in the no-fly, and the Vice President's authority was murky at best! The National Security Advisor and the Secretary of State didn't know who they were taking their orders from. I wasn't in the Situation Room that night, but I'll bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in your pockets that it was Leo. Who no one elected! For ninety minutes that night, there was a coup d'état in this country.
Bartlet
[sarcastically] And the walls came tumbling down. I feel fine, by the way, thanks for asking. [interjecting as Leo tries to speak up] No, Leo, Toby's concern for my health is moving me in ways...
Bartlet
[suddenly infuriated, throws a stack of papers against his desk] SHUT UP! [circles around his desk, staring Toby in the face] You know, your indignation would be a lot more interesting to me if it weren't quite so covered in crap!
[poking his head in] Sir...
Bartlet
[sharply] Yeah?
Bartlet
Thanks. [glares back at Toby] Are you pissed because I didn't say anything, or are you pissed because there are fifteen people who knew before you did? I feel fine, by the way, thanks for asking.
Bartlet
[on Babish] He looks down his nose at me 'cause I'm not a lawyer.
Bartlet
I didn't go to law school. I got a PhD in economics instead.
Your parents were very proud.
Bartlet
Yeah, and all that happened was I won a Nobel Prize and got elected President so I guess that decision didn't really pay off.
Bartlet
Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize?
I think he knows you've got one.
Bartlet
We won't discuss this any more for the time being. It'll be public soon enough. And the more conversations you have with me, the more lawyers you're gonna have to talk to, and they bill in an hour what you take home in a week, so we won't discuss it except to say this: you're gonna be subpoenaed. I'm confident in your loyalty to me; I'm confident in your love for me. If you lie to protect me, if you lie just once, if you lie just a little, if you lie 'cause you can't stand what's happening to me and the people making it happen, if you ever, ever lie, you're finished with me. You understand?
Bartlet
Say you understand.
Bartlet
This isn't what you signed up for. Leo begged you to take this job. This isn't what you signed up for. If you leave, I'd appreciate it if you did it now, so it doesn't look like my lawyer bailed on me when the rain starts. No one's gonna hold it against you.
Well, I appreciate that, Mr. President. [pause] If I stay, will you do exactly what I tell you to do?
Bartlet
I guess it depends.
I'm afraid it can't depend, sir.
Bartlet
[pauses and thinks] What would my first step be?
Bartlet
Yeah.
Then, decide how to make a public announcement.
Bartlet
Yeah.
Then, order the attorney general to appoint a special prosecutor. Not just any special prosecutor, the most blood-spitting, Bartlet-hating Republican in the Bar. He's gonna have an unlimited budget and a staff like an army. The new slogan around here is gonna be "Bring it on!" He's gonna have access to every piece of paper you ever touched. If you invoke executive privilege one time, I'm gone. An assistant D.A in Ducksworth wants to take your deposition, you're on the next plane. A freshman Congressman wants your testimony, you'll sit in his kitchen. They wanna drag you to The Hague and charge you with war crimes, what'll we say?
Bartlet
Bring it on.
[Bartlet stands alone in the Oval Office, in the middle of a raging storm. The back door suddenly flies open]
Bartlet
God damn it...Mrs. Landingham!
[Mrs. Landingham suddenly walks through the main door of the Oval Office]
I really wish you wouldn't shout, Mr. President.
[Bartlet stares at her for a few seconds]
Bartlet
The door keeps blowing open.
You could have used the intercom to call me, you know.
Bartlet
I know, but I didn't want to-
You didn't want to, or you didn't know how?
Bartlet
It's not that I don't know how. It's just that I haven't learned yet.
[Pause. Mrs. Landingham smiles at him]
BBartlett
I have MS, and I didn't tell anybody.
Yeah. So, you're having a little bit of a day.
BBartlett
You're going to make jokes?
God doesn't make cars crash and you know it. Stop using me as an excuse.
BBartlett
The Party's not going to want me to run.
The Party'll come back. You'll get them back.
BBartlett
I've got a secret for you, Mrs. Landingham, I've never been the most popular man in the Democratic Party.
I've got a secret for you, Mr. President. Your father was a prick who could never get over the fact that he wasn't as smart as his brothers. Are you in a tough spot? Yes. Do I feel sorry for you? I do not. Because there are people way worse off than you.
BBartlett
Give me numbers.
I don't know numbers. You give them to me.
BBartlett
How about a child born this minute has one in five chances of being born into poverty?
How many Americans don't have health insurance?
What's the number one cause of death for black men under 35?
How many Americans are behind bars?
How many Americans are drug addicts?
And one in five kids in poverty?
BBartlett
That's thirteen million American children. 3.5 million kids go to schools that are literally falling apart. We need 127 billion in school construction, and we need it today!
To say nothing of 53 people trapped in an embassy.
You know, if you don't want to run again, I respect that. [stands up] But if you don't run 'cause you think it's gonna be too hard or you think you're gonna lose - well, God, Jed, I don't even want to know you.
SSandy
Mr. President, can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?
Bartlet
I'm sorry, Sandy, there was a bit of noise there, could you repeat the question?
SSandy
Can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?
[Bartlet slides his hands off the podium, puts them in his pockets, looks away and smiles]
BBartlet
Did you know that hardly any of the guys who landed on the moon are married to the same people they were married to before they went there?
BBartlet
I'm just saying, it could have been worse: I could have been an astronaut.
You could not have been an astronaut.
BBartlet
I would have been a great astronaut.
You're afraid of heights, speed, fire, and small enclosed spaces.
BBartlet
I'd have overcome it to go to the moon.
I know you would have. [pause] There's something important I have to say. I haven't really made up my mind yet, but at the moment, I'm leaning towards voting for you.
The West Wing · 913 quotes
