(Dr. Jonas Venture greets Col. Gentleman and his wife at the door.)
Col. Fun has arrived! (taking the drink from Jonas's hand) Ah, you read my mind. I need a stiff one in me after that car ride. Never let a woman drive your Aston, Jonas. This one handles a stick like it's got herpes!
Q Ms. Quymn
Who knows, with all the strange garages you park it in...
Ms. Quymn (he kisses her hand)
More like Ms. Bollocks-Buster. If she won't take my name maybe she'll take a smack in her smart mouth!
Q Ms. Quymn
Try me. [Col. Gentleman kisses her on the cheek]]
Hank, are you listening to me?
Actually, uh, can you keep it down? I'm trying to write a song for the girls.
Would you get with the program? We've got a mystery to solve!
Well then we should team up. With the girls!
We can't! They're ... they're suspects.
Then solve it tomorrow or something. Man, what's your hurry?
What's your slowy?! You've gone soft on me, Henry Allen So-Called-Venture! You used to be all 'Go Team Venture!' but now ... now you're all 'Go Team ... b- Boobies!'
[Dr. Venture and Dr. Quymn are about to make love.]
Looks like I found my cure for impotence after all! Now if I could figure out a way to bottle that ass, I'd be a multi-millionaire!
Dr. Quymn is the wereodile!
V Dr. Venture
She's- oh my god! I almost fucked a wereodile!
We have to stop her transformation before she kills us all! (he picks up a chair and begins to hit Dr. Quymn with it over and over )
The power of Christ compels you! (Ginnie springs into action and pushes Dean away )
G Ginnie
Stop it you little asshole! She's not a wereodile, she's an epileptic.
Q Dr Quymn
...Pity your father also didn’t teach you not to steal Fertility Idols from irritable headhunters.
Oh, that... I’ve been researching alternative cures for impotence... not for me, of course.
Q Dr Quymn
Have you not tried Viagra?
It makes me... my customers; headaches, nausea, dyspepsia and/or diarrhea. Anyway, enough shop-talk, how have you’ve been?
There was even talk of french toast! But there was none to be had.
O Dr.Orpheus
I fear this is beyond our combined powers. I must seek guidance from The Master! Wait here, please.
Oh c'mon! We're supposed to be a team. How come we never get to see this all-knowing guy with you?
Yeah, tell the truth is it because you're embarassed of us. Its because he's gay, isn't it? (points at Al)
O Dr.Orpheus
No, its because you soiled yourself...and he's gay [disappears in smoke]
I am not diggin' this "Charlie's Angels" crap.
At least they got an intercom. What do we get!?
Damn it, Orpheus! I almost had that bloodsucker. Aww, now I got the blue balls in my blood eye.
I go where the blacktion is.
[bitterly] You're not my mama. She was taken by marauding blackulas when I was 10.
E Dr. Entmann
And let me tell you somethin' about ants! You know that whole "Ants can lift a hundred times their own weight" thing? It's a myth! Think about it. What's an ant weigh? Like, nothin'. What nothin' times a hundred?
E Dr. Entmann
It's nothin'!
Perhaps I should cast a spell of protection on the machine.
No! No magic! Remember what happened last time? I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk outta here in Aquaman Underoos!
That’s it, just like that, easy . Pull back a bit, god, your right on top of me.
I can’t help it... it’s stiff, doc. Maybe I should lube this thing up before we take it down there.
It’ll be fine. It’s not built for speed, it’s built for deep penetration .
All right, that’s it. You promise no penetration jokes.
Oh come on, look at that thing! How can I resist? Its practically a monument to my father’s repression.
It appears your father was engage in some sort of experiment, but why would he abandon it in such haste?
He gets bored pretty easy.
And rarely tidys his work area.
Hey do you think maybe, now I'm going out on a limb here, they went, down there?
[Hank points to the basement]
You... you mean, you didn’t check?
Are you kidding? That’s like, the basement!
It’s super spooky down there!
Why else would we call magic guys to help us look!
Oh no, no no no! 16 years old!
[Sarcastically] "Triad emergency."
I said I was sorry. The boys a very, active imaginations. They're given to flights of fancy.
Yes, the little imps have certainly skylarked us into a mare's nest this time.
The skinny one thinking he has a shot at his daughter, now that’s an active imagination.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
