I hate those rented shoes. Two hours in the shower and I can still feel the fungus between my toes!
Speaking of fungus, hand me that soda.
What does that have to do with fungus?
Nothing. I just want my danged soda!
Why can't you get your danged soda yourself?
Mr. Moseby wants me to ice my bowling arm.
Boy, you are milking this star player thing...
Speaking of milking things, I need you to do my current events homework. Mr. Moseby wants me to ... rest my ... golden arm...
Well, you better get the newspaper first, because you're doing your own stinking homework.
Fine, fine, fine. But if I pull a finger muscle, it's on your head.
Well, it's better than where it usually is, up your nose, digging for gold.
That's funny... [Zack opens the door to leave the suite] Hey, check it out! There's some loser in the hall in a towel!
You! [Zack pushes Cody and closes the door]
[cheering] We've got spirit, yes, we do. We've got spirit, how 'bout- you? [bumps into Ilsa's brawny bowler Hilda]
H Hilda
We've got spirit, ya, we do. Shut your mouth, or I'll crush you!
[learning that Zack has been grounded before the bowling match] I beg you to punish Zack on a regular basis, but just when I need him the most, you get tough. You hate me, don't you?
Me and Cody were going to see Killer Koala.
T Theo
Saw it. He was framed by the platypus.
I've learned two things today. It's that, one, you can't buy friendship; and two, city bus drivers take pity on you when you're half naked.
Mr. Moseby, you think you could open the icecream bar a bit earlier today?
Absolutely not, there is no...
T Theo
I could go for an ice cream.
Consider it open! Let me call our frozen confections engineer.
Thanks man, that was awesome!
T Theo
Need anything else?
Yeah, a basketball that comes back up after it hits the ground.
T Theo
Well, why won't you come back to my place. I've got dozens of basketballs and a regulation court.
You have a basketball court outside your house?
T Theo
Inside, right next to the bowling alley. [to Moseby] Tell mom I'm taking the car.
T Theo
Well, if you consider a stretched limo with a hot tub and a big screen tv a car then yeah...
Dude, where have you been all my life!
Why is there a crying baby in the lobby?
It's not a real baby. It's our homework assignment.
Is there any way you can get your homework assignment to shut up?
It's raining lamas and goats outside.
Don't you mean cats and dogs?
[giggles] That's a silly expression. Why must all women shop so much? Uh, nine shopping bags?
One for every day of the week!
I bet you also think that a woman's place is in the kitchen!
Only after she gets back from the grocery store!
Oh, that attitude is so typically male! I'll have you know, women are capable of doing anything!
How about talking quietly?
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Chihuahuas have freakishly huge ears. I mean, compared to their bodies, they're massive!
And just where do you two think you're going?
[to Zack] I don't get it. She didn't even turn around!
Ok. The eyes in the back of her head thing is really creepy!
Just so you know, my vision is twenty-twenty-twenty-twenty. You are not playing hockey without helmets and a whole bunch of pads, anything that looks like skin - go cover it.
Speaking of helmets and pads, if we wear them, could we go bungee jumping later?
Bob's parents said he could go.
And if Bob's parents let him jump off the bridge, would you wanna do that too?
If we were attached to a bungee cord!
Not even if you were still attached to my umbilical cord.
Why won't you let us have any fun?
It's my job. It's the first thing they teach you in mom's school. I discipline because I care.
Well, couldn't you care less? We're not kids you know!
Yeah, can't you treat us like adults?
As soon as I don't have to buy my own Mother's Day cards.
Careful Cody, you better put your helmet on. Those are hard cover books.
Is this safe enough for you mom? Ow! paper cut! Mommy, kiss it!
Hey Arwin, what are you...
Ok, that's a little disturbing...
I was just practicing asking your mom out, because every time I try to ask your real mom, I get lost in her big brown beautiful eyes...
Put mom in the drawer and come play with us!
I mean, everytime we ask someone to play with us, they all say the same thing.
No, no, I mean I really don't have time. See, when I'm not practicing my dating skills, I'm working on a secret project. So secret in fact, that no power on earth can make me tell you what it is.
Ok, ok, I'm gonna tell you! Ready? 3, 2, 1, tada! Aaaaaah! Yeah!
You invented something that nobody uses anymore.
ZC Zack, Cody
(after returning from the parallel universe and Arwin enters) ARWIN!!!
ZACK!!! CODY!!! WHY ARE WE YELLING????!!!!
I Irv
[walks over to Carey] The name's Weldon. Irv Weldon. And I like to be shaken, not stirred.
Oh, that Weldon is as smooth as porcelain.
You're gonna be fine Arwin. The first event is in ten minutes.
Have you found a happy place to think about?
Well, actually, at first it was me and mother on a lovely tropical cruise... Then a storm hit and the waves were huge, and then her wheelchair rolled off the side, and I yelled: "Mother, throw me the house keys!"
Okay... How about thinking about a nice cookie?
Well, most things worth getting require hard work. Which is an experience, shall I say, you have been deprived of.
Whenever you want something, you just call daddy and he gets it for you.
It's not as easy as it looks. Daddy has a lot of different phone numbers.
That was amazing! How did you hit ten free-throws in a row?
New system. I realized, if I picture myself in the happy place, all the pressure goes away.
Where's your happy place?
Can't say. You might show up.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Suite Life of Zack & Cody pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
