I may be getting bumped up a notch or two. Tony Soprano's on his way out, and I mean as in forever.
JPJojo Palmice
Oh, my god. He's going to jail?
No, the other forever...
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
So, your father tells me you're takin' up uh...astronomy in college.
Kevin Bonpensiero: No...business.
Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
This better be good. I was takin' my kid fishin'.
Ah, Jesus, what...no hiya Vin, how's it doin' Vin, what do ya think Vin...
I...I...I thought we understood each other, right? I don't give two shits about you, your family, or whether you take it up the ass.
JAJimmy Altieri
(At a funeral) Junior. Hey.
Jimmy. How ya doin' kid?
JAJimmy Altieri
How many o' these things we gotta go ta? Brendan Filone's mother at the kid's funeral...the way she carried on...
Fuckin' manners.
JAJimmy Altieri
I just want you ta know, I always thought ya had that right too, you know...(Jimmy does a gun motion with his hand)
Jimmy, lemme tell you somethin'. Don't worry about what I know.
Junior, are you alright?
Pork chop boy was here, that fuckin' Altieri. Runnin' his mouth about the Brendan Filone hit. Is that what him and my other capos talk about behind my back at that fuckin' old folks home?
Well, the meeting's adjourned at the green grove.
Donnie Paduana: They'll do it fucking tomorrow, my personal guarantee.
Let me tell you something Donnie, if they don't, some hikers are gonna find your personal guarantee rolled up in a tube and shoved up your ass, you understand?
John Clayborn: (Gets out of car) Yo sir. Excuse me.
(In car) What?
JCJohn Clayborn
Could you pull forward so we could get out?
Alright, give me a minute?
JCJohn Clayborn
Police department.
Where's your badge?
JCJohn Clayborn
Man, I said move this piece of shit fucking now!
Get the fuck out of my face.
JCJohn Clayborn
(Walks back to his car and sits next to Rasheen Ray) We gonna have to waste this motherfucker too?
Nothin's gonna happen.
Wake up Tony. It already did.
I took an oath Carmela.
What are you, a kid in a treehouse?
Did you ever tell anybody about me goin' ta see Melfi?
Is that why they tried to kill you? Because you're seeing a psychiatrist?
What're you talkin' about? It was a carjackin'.
At least have the decency not to lie to me.
What do ya wanna do Carmela? You wanna move to Utah? Be Mr. and Mrs. Mike Smith? We...we can sell some Indian relics by the road. Maybe start a rattlesnake ranch.
This is our chance ta get out Tony. We could start a whole new life.
Have some Mormons over the dinner. Eat some tomatoes that have no taste.
You know what I want Tony? I want those kids ta have a father.
They got one. This one. Me. Tony Soprano. And all that comes with it.
Oh you prick.
At a meeting
Jimmy; does that answer your concerns?
JAJimmy Altieri
I think a lot of good ground was covered.
OK, I guess that is it.
Meeting is adjourned. Junior talks privately with Tony
You are right; it is him.
All of the sudden having a meeting to discuss facts we have already covered. He is wearing a wire.
You have my OK. Just make sure you send a message to everybody else.
New York City. Chris surprises Jimmy by inviting him to an orgy
JAJimmy Altieri
Who was it who told me you hated Russians?
The two men Junior brought around to pound my ass were Russian. For a while I was bitter. However, Tony's cumare is Russian; you could not ask for a nicer girl. These two tonight are friends of hers.
JAJimmy Altieri
I got enough cologne on?
You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died.
JAJimmy Altieri
Whoah, easy for you to say. I don't get young ones like before.
(Artie Bucco holds a rifle to Tony's face) My mother?
Oh, don't say she's lyin' Ton'...because why would she!!!?
What she tell you, my mother?
Don't make it worse. Do me the respect of not treating me like a fuckin' idiot piece of shit. When you blew up the restaurant, you made me party to a criminal conspiracy, did you ever stop ta think about that?
I don't know what she told you, my mother, of all people...two arson investigators gave that fire a clean bill o' health Artie. Why the fuck would I blow up your restaurant?
To help me! You fuckin' bent psycho! You hear your uncle's gonna hurt my business by stagin' a hit in my place and that's yer solution?! To burn it down for the insurance money!!! What kind o' stupid, sick, twisted logic!
Ask yourself a question. Am I that fuckin' stupid, huh? Am I that fuckin' stupid, really...?
I have patients who are suicidal!
Well they're not gonna feel any better about their life if you get clipped.
My friend Brendan, you shot him in his bathtub, naked. No chance to run.
I swear to god, it wasn't me! It was Junior. He hated that kid, it was him.
Yeah right, it was Junior. Mr. Magoo.
Oh c'mon please. Please. (Chris shoots Mikey)
FIFBI Interrogator
You prefer Corrado or Junior?
I prefer Mr. Soprano.
FIFBI Interrogator
Your tenure as boss was a short one. Actually, it was unusual in several ways. Let me put this to you as simply as I can. You can avoid sentencing on these charges if you will testify that in fact, you were not the boss of North Jersey, that in fact, your nephew, Anthony Soprano, was and is. That he de facto controlled your capos with the backing of two of the New York families, communicating through their emissary, John Sacrimoni. We want Johnny Sack. But more than him, we want Mangano and Teresi.
I want to fuck Angie Dickinson, let's see who gets lucky first.
Sean Gismonte: You're supposed to push Webistics.
WWorker
I, I was just givin' them alternatives, shit!
Matthew Bevilaqua: Webistics is our pick o' the week.
WWorker
Why? It's got a three million float, competition's robust, and their technologies' two years behind, your stock's a dog.
(Sean and Matt beat the crap out of the worker) You fuckin' think a minute!
MManager
Hey, stop that! Hey, I'm still the manager here, this is unacceptable. Where's Moltisanti? I'm gonna make a call if you don't think I know who really runs this operation.
Get back in your fuckin' office! (looks around the room) Anybody else got a problem with Webistics???
Hey, T! Seven and Seven over here. Whoa, whoa, what’s the matter now?
What’s the matter? I got a call from Loiaco down at the brokerage. Your two friends beat the shit out of a broker. Two others quit.
The guy was pushing some other stock.
It attracts negative attention. Then the two fucks rip off a Porsche Carrera from our own building.
I’ll call them.
No, you’ll go down there, now. What did you get your license for, Christopher? Your resume, huh? I’ve been telling you; spend more time down at the brokerage. You’re the SEC Compliance Officer for Christ’s sake. You gotta exercise impulse control.
Ok, Tony. I’m sorry.
Okay, alright.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Sopranos pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.