I tell you, I'm havin' a time. Stay out late. Come home drunk. Fuck anyone I want.
Yeah, so whats the difference? (Compared to when Tony was married)
I dunno, it's the mindset.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(to Paulie Walnuts, about his hair) You got ta let that dry before you put on a second coat? Fuckin' Grandpa Munster over here.
(laughing) Ohhh...
(to Vito Spatafore, about cards) You gonna deal those? They're not candy bars. You can let some of 'em go. (everybody laughs)
Jesus Christ, I'm gone for one hour, all of a sudden it turns into a fuckin' slumber party.
Somebody woke up on the wrong side o' the bed.
Lorraine Calluzzo: I'll suck your cock, I'll suck all your cocks!!!! (frantic and afraid)
You'll suck our cocks? She any good? (pauses) Why am I askin, you, you probably showed her how. (to Jason Evanina)
Next time, there won't be a next time.
Oh, what do you know about who belongs to what? You been away twenty fuckin' years!
Which entitles me to earn!
Which entitles you to shit. In my book, you get points for stayin' out of the can!
Good thing for me then, that your book means oogatz to me! Now do yourself a fuckin' favor, and get the fuck out of my store!
Angelo Garepe: He's grabbin' with both hands, John. This could get ugly. There's a lotta potential for bloodshed.
Jason Evanina: Potential? They almost killed us!
LCLorraine Calluzzo
Jason, men are talkin' here.
Free spirit Janice! Rebel without a cause! While I sit here mired in her bullshit, tryin' to be a good son, while you're off droppin' acid and blowin' roadies!
ROADIES?!!?
Oh, you don't wanna know!
[to AJ at dinner] Your father never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
Oh, what the... What the hell's with you?
What?
It's not true. I lettered in football.
You never played college ball.
College? Those guys from Seton Hall were seven feet tall some of them. Took an academic leave anyway.
Small hands, that was your problem.
[laughing] Oh yeah, Daddy always said that.
That's not the point. What is it with you and this obsession with this varsity crap? The other day you said it. When I was a kid you told the girl cousins the same thing, it was very hurtful.
Tony, relax, it's not a big deal.
It's undermining! And it's the kinda stuff I'm teaching my kids not to do - so I don't wanna hear it again! End of subject!
TGTom Giglione
So coming down I heard on the radio, looks like the Jets are gonna grab that kid from Tulsa, that tight end.
BGBarbara Giglione
We still get those season tickets, big brother?
JUncle Junior
All I know is he never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
AW, SON OF A BITCH!
BGBarbara Giglione
What?
DID I JUST TELL YOU NOT TO SAY THAT AGAIN?!
BGBarbara Giglione
Say what?!
JUncle Junior
You don't like the way I talk, get outta my house!
BGBarbara Giglione
Ugh, here we go...
Tony...
No, "Tony" shit! [to AJ] Get your coat, we're leaving.
I don't have a coat.
Well then get moving, Goddamn it!
BGBarbara Giglione
Will someone please tell me what's going on?
It's my last Sunday dinner here, that's what's going on.
[Tony and AJ leave, slamming the door behind them]
Uncle Jun, was that really necessary?
JUncle Junior
He's a goddamn hothouse flower, that's his problem.
Look, the doctor said you might not have known what you were saying.
What are you talking about?
The varsity shit.
[Junior sighs, and doesn't respond]
So what else did Feech have to say?
Getting a new top on his convertible.
All right, let's assume that you didn't know what you were saying... and that you forget that you say shit over and over.
Yeah?
Why's it gotta be something mean? Why can't you repeat something good?
[turning his attention back to the television] There's the coyote.
[...]
I mean, don't you love me?
[Junior doesn't answer, and they both quietly tear up]
(about Tony) Jesus fuckin' Christ, how many times this guy gotta say hello!!
What, did I interrupt one of your impermeable stories? Go ahead..
So, we had these girls in a hotel room, long story short, I got my shoe in her snatch-
And it falls off and she keels over, Che puzz'. (holds his nose)
(to Anthony Junior) Look at your face! If you got some kind of sexual proclivity with that teacher or whatever, now is the time to tell us! I mean, what went on up there! Poppers and weird sex!!
OOfficer
That your garage?
Nah, it's where I make the weapons of mass destruction.
OOfficer
Let's go out and open it up.
You wanna see my fuckin' garage?! You never seen an oil stain before?
It's important these young guys know the history.
Tell 'em 'bout the time...uh...Tony and Jackie Aprile knocked over your card game. (Feech La Manna sighs) Oh, that he doesn't like ta talk about.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Sopranos pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.