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The Sopranos quotes

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The Sopranos
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

You have any idea what Albert kicked up last week?

Fuck that fuckin' parakeet. I got a relationship with Tony Albert'll never have. No matter how far he sticks his tongue up Tony's ass.

It's your fault anyway. All this shit started with that Russian prick when I had to go pick up your five grand.

You know things might be a little different, Paulie, if you'd accept some responsibility for a change.

You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that?

Ohhhh! I'm just tellin' you how you're bein' fuckin' perceived!

Just worry about how you're fuckin' perceived! Nobody knows what the future holds, my friend.

PProsecutor

Ladies and gentlemen, Corrado Soprano is not some harmless old man being persecuted by the government, but a ruthless and calculating mob boss who controls a vast criminal enterprise. Over the past few months, you've heard from FBI agents who have documented clandestine meetings at his doctor's offices. Tales of bid rigging, sweetheart deals, secret payoffs, and even murder. No, Corrado Soprano is not some harmless old man, but a killer who orders up murder like you and I order up coffee.

You call my house again. You ever speak to one of my children again, I will track you down and I will kill you. We have got guns here. I mean it.

Let go of me, your son will be home. You want him to see his father like this.

Yeah, you'd love that wouldn't you? I'm not leaving here Carmela.

I don't love you anymore. I don't want you. You are not sleeping in my bed Tony. The thought of it now makes me sick.

Can I tell ya somethin' Tony?

Don't pretend like I got a choice.

The last year, I have been dreaming and fantasizing and in love with Furio.

(laughing) he..ha...what?

Every morning when he'd come to pick you up, I would look forward to it all night long in bed, next to you. Those nights when you were actually in the bed. And he would ring the doorbell, I felt like my heart would come out of my chest. He would smile, and we'd talk, and then you would come down the stairs. And I felt probably like someone who was terminally ill and somehow they managed to forget it for a minute. And then it all comes back!

I'll tell ya, after a meal like that, what I can use is a nice piece of ass. Who knows, maybe I'll call down, have them send one up to the room.

Why don't you just fuck yourself, save a little money.

What's your problem?

Stop tryin' to bait me, Paulie. You know what my fuckin' problem is.

No, why don't you tell me!

You want me to tell you? Fine! Steaks! Three pound lobsters! The shrimp fuckin' cocktails you made everybody get, then on top of everything else, you send those skanks a bottle of Cristal?

I was bein' a gentlemen, Chrissy, you oughta try it sometime.

Not to mention the lyonnaise fucking potatoes you didn't even touch.

What? I lost my appetite!

Excuse me?

You fuckin' heard me!

I'm tellin' you, Chrissy, I don't give a fuck anymore who you're related to!

Go ahead, Paulie! Go for it! Your big fuckin' moment!

You little fuck!!

So we open the fuckin' trunk. This suffocatin' Russian cocksucka pops up. He's still alive! (They all laugh)

We lead 'im through the snow. This asshole's shiverin', I mean he's wearin' fuckin' pajamas and slippers in like eight degree weather.

JMJack Massarone

So they go through labor, big deal. Try a prostate exam.

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