The wife of a made guy doesn't hostess.
I'm so proud of you. I love you Christopher.
You better.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You better hope you have all your shit outta here 'cuz I'm callin' the locksmith.
Dino Zerilli: Look. (Reverting Jackie's attention to Chris)
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
Take away Tony Soprano, he's a zero with shoes.
Yeah, but he's wearin' a stripe now.
My uncle Richie was gonna-
Yeah, but he never did.
[Jackie Jr. rocks up to Tony's table for a sitdown, donning sunglasses]
What time is it?
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
I'm here, aren't I? Out of respect to my father.
Got a make to phone call. [Furio leaves]
Sit down. You want somethin' to eat?
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
I'm not hungry.
That's too bad, I said lunch meet. You want a drink?
[Jackie Jr. shakes his head]
Lose the glasses. I'm gonna say a few things. I'm gonna say some bad words. You're just gonna have to deal with it. Now I know what you're thinkin', you're thinkin' I clipped your uncle. On the one hand, you'd be a shithead to believe me when I told you I didn't do it. But I didn't. Now I got some bad news for you- look at me. [Tony drums his fork against his plate] Look at me. Your uncle was a rat.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
[furiously, rising from his chair] No fucking way!
Sit down. Sit down. Sit the fuck down. Your uncle was a rat. And now he's in the witness protection program.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
That's my father's brother you're talkin' about.
Jackie, I'm a member of your family almost... you think I'm the only one that knows this about Richie? You ask anybody... this hurt all of us.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
Jesus Christ...
Your dad and me, you know how close we were? He never wanted this for you. He wanted you to be a doctor.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
Give me a fuckin' break!
Let me tell you something... besides the money, which there is a shitload of, doctor's a very powerful position.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
I'm no doctor. You know how hard you have to work to get your MD? How many years it takes? I was even thinkin' maybe osteopathy... but I don't think I have the grades for that even.
What? You're not gonna drop out of Rutgers, are ya?
JAJackie Aprile, Jr
No, but those fuckin' Pre-Med courses almost killed me. I only did it 'cuz my dad was sick.
But you should know, he never wanted this life for you. And I'll tell you somethin', I don't want it for my son either.
Svetlana Kirilenko: Bill, don't waste breath, this cunt is gonna be sorry she ever fuck with me!
She's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Ginny Sacramoni, what she needs is her own zip code.
She's so fat, she goes campin', the bears have to hide their food.
I like a woman you can grab onto something.
You grab onto Ginny Sacrimoni, your fuckin' hands'll disappear.
Jersey's a small state, she moves in...she could tip it over.
Alright, obviously you told the cops you don't know who did this.
I'm upset. But please, I know how to keep my mouth shut.
Oh unless of course there's a salami sandwich around.
Maybe the fact that you stick your dick into anything with a pulse...you ever thought of exploring that as a root cause?
How you doin'? I got new shoes. Soles are a little heavy.
WOfficer Wilmore
License, registration, and insurance card please.
You're with the township right? I think I had dinner with your boss last week. Tony Soprano.
WOfficer Wilmore
Would you please remove the license from the wallet. Do you know why I stopped you sir?
Yeah I do. I'll tell you what, why don't you and your wife have dinner, on me. And you can tell her about it.
WOfficer Wilmore
You offering me a bribe sir?
Course not. You gotta relax a little.
WOfficer Wilmore
Would you uh...shut the engine please sir?
Just out of curiosity, what happens if I don't feel like shuttin' the engine?
WOfficer Wilmore
Dispatch 582, request backup.
Ah, you gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.
Tony...
RResponding Officer
582 what's your dilemma?
WOfficer Wilmore
Dispatch, cancel backup.
Is this the high point of your career?
WOfficer Wilmore
Wait in the car.
Our tax dollars, hard earned fuckin' work.
Makes you sick! You think they'd be out arresting dope dealers!
Can you believe this shit?! This, this fuckin' smoke's actually writin' me up!
Stay in the car, Tony!
Affirmitive Action cocksucker!
He's gonna be a vegetable, Tony! A fuckin' retard!
No, he's gonna be fine.
Well, look at the bright side. He wasn't that smart to begin with!
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
Just say the word. My fuckin' pleasure!
Why don't you go grab us some coffee.
JAJackie Aprile, Jr.
Come on, are you kiddin'?!
Better yet, go to the ear, nose, and throat department. Get your hearin' checked.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Sopranos pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.