“Insane Clown Poppy” · Season 12
In this episode: Marge Simpson (4), Homer Simpson (3), Krusty the Clown (3), Bart Simpson (1), Louie (1)
[Homer and Bart try to unstick a drawer in the living room stand with a firework]
Homer, what are you doing?
Listen, do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?
Well, like all Americans, fast, but--
[lights the fuse] Clear!
[The firework explodes, knocking the drawer out and leaving blast marks, and Marge finds that she CAN slide it easily now]
You can't argue with results!
So, Mr. King, what tale of horror and the macabre are you working on now?
Oh, I don't feel like writing horror right now.
Oh, that's too bad.
I'm working on a biography of Benjamin Franklin. He's a fascinating man. He discovered electricity, [menacingly, as dark clouds gather] and used it to torture small animals and green mountain men! And that key he tied to the end of a kite? [thunderclap] IT OPENED THE GATES OF HELL!
Well, let me know when you get back to horror.
[cheerfully] Will do! [Writes a note: Call Marge, Re: horror]
Look, Maggie, Christopher Walken's reading "Goodnight Moon".
"Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon." [children listening slowly back away terrified] Please, children, scootch closer. Don't make me tell you again about the scootching. You in the red, chop-chop.
Dear Lord, bless this humble meal, and do you hear about Krusty? Whoo, man! I knew he was a player but, jeez, a kid!
Homer, that's not a prayer, that's gossip.
Fine, I'll discuss heavenly matters. [to God] So how's Maude Flanders doing up there? Is she playing the field? Oh, yeah, really? All those guys? [family stares at him in shock] Amen. [starts eating]
Listen, kid, I'm not the kind of dad who, you know, does things, or says stuff or looks at ya. But the love is there!
I can't believe you would gamble with something that meant so much to me.
Wait, time out. Four aces is not a gamble.
Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit ya?
I ain't sayin' nothin'.
But what'll I tell the doctor?
Tell him to suck a lemon.
[As he's running from the mob shooting at him] Hey, I said I was sorry.
Well, in that case we'll stop. What a class act and nice guy. [They stop shooting]
Sorry, you are such jerks.
Shut up, Updike!
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