[Homer is buttering a muffin that he got out of an E-Z Bake Oven as he's driving]
Mmm, I don't know if that's a good idea to do while you're driving.
Marge, that's what I bought it for.
“Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” · Season 5
In this episode: Lisa Simpson (3), Homer Simpson (1), Bart Simpson (1), Marge Simpson (1), Mr. Burns (1), Waylon Smithers (1), Grampa Simpson (1)
Thanks for buying us these toys, Grampa.
Grampa Simpson [dismissive]: Bah! Why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows [as Lisa becomes sad]: or a nice pipe organ? [whining]: I'm thirsty. Ooh, what smells like mustard? [The Simpsons continue driving, ignoring Grampa as he continues complaining]: There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. [Homer turns the car into the driveway as Grampa points]: Ooh! Lookit that one! [overhead shot of everyone [except Grampa] fleeing the car and running inside the house]: Oh, my glaucoma just got worse! The President is a Demmycrat! [plaintive]: Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt! Hello! [honks car horn, despite being in the backseat and allegedly not being able to unbuckle his seat belt]
MSMalibu Stacy Doll
Don't ask me. I'm just a girl! Ha ha, ha ha!
Right on, say it, sister.
It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act - that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal in life is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talkin' about how damned terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
Just what I was gonna say.
[Lisa angrily throws the doll out the living room window. Cut to Grampa Simpson riding a bike down the street]
Look at me! I'm acting young!
[The doll gets caught in the spokes of the bicycle. Grampa Simpson flies off screaming past a blur of colors until he lands in an open grave at a cemetery. Two grave diggers having lunch turn around to see what the commotion is, then resume eating]
[from inside the grave] Hey, this ain't so bad.
[Lisa pressures Stacy Lovell about Malibu Stacy.]
SStacy
I see exactly what you mean; this is a problem. But what do you expect me to do?
Change what she says. It's your company.
SStacy
Not since I was forced out in 1974. They said my way of thinking just wasn't cost effective.
[gasps] That's awful.
SStacy
Well, that and I was funneling profits to the Viet Cong.
[Smithers turns on his computer, its boot screen displays a computerized version of Mr. Burns]
Hello, Smithers. You're. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On.
Uh, you probably should ignore that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.