“Some Enchanted Evening” quotes from The Simpsons

Lisa

Aw, come on, Bart, not again!

Bart

[dialing the phone] Aw, where's your sense of humor?

Moe's Tavern.

Bart

Hello, is Al there?

Al?

Bart

Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.

Lemme check. [calls] Phone call for Al! Al Coholic! Is there an Al Coholic here?! [bar denizens laugh] Wait a minute... [to the phone] Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'll kill you! [hangs up]

Homer

[depressed] I hope you do find that punk someday, Moe. Fill 'er up.

Bart

A little pre-dinner entertainment.

[answering the phone] Moe's Tavern.

Bart

Is Oliver there?

Who?

Bart

Oliver Klozoff.

Hold on, I'll check. [calls] Oliver Clothesoff, call for Oliver Clothesoff!

[laugh]

[on the phone] Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!

Marge

[hangs up] Goodness, must be a crossed wire.

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Babysitting Service.

Marge

This is Marge Simpson. I'd like a babysitter for the evening.

Wait a minute. The Simpsons? [looks over at a bulletin board with Bart, Lisa and Maggie's faces on it, warning their employees not to babysit them due to their countless misbehavior] Lady, you've got to be kidding! [slams the phone, continues writing, phone rings seconds later] Rubber Baby Buggie Bumper Babysitting Service.

Homer

Hello, this is Mr. S...Sampson.

[sensing something fishy] Did your wife just call a second ago?

Homer

No, I said Sampson, not Simpson.

[visibly relieved] Thank God! Those Simpsons, what a bunch of savages! Especially that big ape father!

Homer

[angrily] D'oh! [trying to keep calm] Actually, the Simpsons are neighbors of ours and we found them to be a quite misunderstood and underrated family.

Bart

This way to the scene of the crime, men! I got her tied up in the den.

Homer

[angrily grabs Bart] Just a minute, young man! I don't know what kind of shenanigans you've been pulling this time, but I just had to untie your baby-sitter and pay her off so that--

Excuse me. Are you saying to the world that you just aided and abetted the escape of the notorious Baby-sitter Bandit?

Homer

The what?

The Baby-sitter Bandit.