Hey, any fun weekend plans?
No, you?
Uh, no, actually. So nothing? No movies, or parties, or anything you might want to invite someone to?
Nothing. It's wide open.
Okay.
[cuts to Andy in an interview]
That's as hard as I can hint.
S6 E15Sabre
S6 E16Manager and Salesman
JJo
This is knucklehead talk. I'm not gonna bite it, you know? You can't give me gravy and tell me it's jelly, because gravy ain't sweet! Is it, Jim?
I don't think so.
JJo
Michael?
Forget the question.
JJo
I think one of you should return to sales, and the other one be manager.
I humbly accept the management position.
Why would you just say something like that?
Because, well, Jim, where I'm from, two types of folk: those who ain't, and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't? Ya'll come back now.
You know how some people say they're not in it for the money? Well, with all due respect to this job, I'm think I'm definitely in it for the money. And, quite honestly, the women.
I have been saying the word 'manager' a lot, so whenever Jo thinks 'manager', she thinks of me. Camel cigarettes did the same with Joe Camel by making him look like a penis. I can't even go near a cigarette now without thinking of a penis. And vice versa.
S6 E17The Delivery
I'm having contractions, but they're irregular and far apart. So I'm not really in labor, I'm near labor.
Yeah, we're slow-playing it because of our stupid HMO.
If we check in after midnight, I get an extra day to recuperate surrounded by doctors.
Not to mention the extra night's sleep in the hospital will be very nice because once we bring the baby home, if it's crying all night, one of us is going to have to take care of it. And I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
I cannot wait for that joke to be over.
Bear my child.
Excuse me?
I want to have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything. [Angela is silent] Very well. Let's meet at 4:00 pm at our old meeting spot and bang it out.
There she sat. Her name was Pam. She was a receptionist. She was engaged to an animal. There sat Jim. He was a gawky, tall salesman. The odds of them getting together were insur-mountain-able. I made a family! I got these two together and I made a family.
Did you grow up around here?
No.
So, you must have grown up around somewhere else?
Yes.
Kevin, Erin would like a few words with you.
Hey.
Hi.
I have really enjoyed our time together.
Yeah, me too.
I want to continue working on our friendship.
Really, really fun.
Because I think our friendship could be a really cool thing.
Yeah, me too.
And, you're my friend.
Yeah.
And I hope that I'm your friend... and maybe...
Yeah.
Oh my God, this is agonizing. Look, Kevin, do you really think that you could have dated Erin?
You said she liked me.
Okay, even if someone told you that, you should know that could never be possible, Kevin. And I'm surprised that you didn't question me in the first place.
S6 E19St. Patrick's Day
It is St. Patrick's Day, and here in Scranton that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.
They say that no man is an island. False! I am an island and this island is volcanic. And it is about to erupt. With the molten hot lava of strategy!
[Dwight sees that Jim is sitting on his and Dwight's desks stacked on top of each other]
What the hell is this?! This is not Mega-Desk.
No, it's not. They call it Quad-Desk.
That's ridiculous, this is made up of three desks.
Oh my God. We're going to have to re-name it then, aren't we?
[Phone underneath the desks rings; Dwight crawls into the nook of Quad-Desk to answer it]
Hello, Dwight Schrute?
S6 E20New Leads
Michael, we spent a lot of money on those leads. You have to give them out.
Then we are just rewarding their bad behaviour. Okay. Just...imagine that instead of going to jail for murdering someone, you got an ice cream cone. If that were the case, then in the summertime, everyone would go around killing people for the pleasure of an ice cream cone.
Hey baby, what's up?
I am currently reading incoherent riddles on blue index cards to find vital information that Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you?
Nothing but vomit and diapers over here.
Oh my God, I couldn't envy you more.
Hope... grows
...in a dump.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Office (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.