Pam: Dwight is about to get so Pammed!

Pam: Dwight, am I hot right now?

Dwight: Why would I or anyone else think that you're hot right now? I can't impregnate you, and that's the driving force between male-female attraction.
Pam: What about before? Was I attractive before?

Dwight: Meh. You were at your most attractive when you were 24 with a slight, gradual decline and a steep drop-off when you got pregnant for the first time. Gradual recovery and, uh, well now, obviously, you're at an all-time low.

Pam: Hey baby, what's up?
Jim: I am currently reading incoherent riddles on blue index cards to find vital information that Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you?
Pam: Nothing but vomit and diapers over here.
Jim: Oh my God, I couldn't envy you more.

Pam: I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. [pause] I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me. But, Karen knows me, and she still hates me.

Pam: I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It's okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally...
[Jim walks in on interview]
Jim: Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Pam: Yes.
Jim: All right. Then... it's a date.
[Jim leaves. Pam smiles and tears up]
Pam: I'm sorry, what was the question?
Season 4

Pam: I'm having contractions, but they're irregular and far apart. So I'm not really in labor, I'm near labor.
Jim: Yeah, we're slow-playing it because of our stupid HMO.
Pam: If we check in after midnight, I get an extra day to recuperate surrounded by doctors.
Jim: Not to mention the extra night's sleep in the hospital will be very nice because once we bring the baby home, if it's crying all night, one of us is going to have to take care of it. And I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.
Pam: I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

Pam: Nothing happened. We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again.
Jim: What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled.
Pam: That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.
Jim: Yeah, I thought you started it.
Pam: No, I liked him. For a couple of days. Four years ago. You know I have a kid with you, right?

Pam: Obviously, there's been some kind of mistake, so why doesn't Jim just pick the next highest score on the list and we'll move on.
Andy: That would be...employee #3, which is...son-of-a-bitch! Pam Halpert.
Phyllis: How is that possible? No offense, Pam, but how the hell is that possible?
Dwight: [feigning ignorance] There must be some reasonable explanation for this.
Pam: Oh, wait, come on! I didn't miss a day, I came in early, I stayed late, and I doubled my sales last month.
Andy: Oh, really? From what, two to four?
Pam: [in confessional] Yup!

Pam: Thank goodness you were there
Michael: [shaking his head nervously] Yeah...
Andy: Did you see who did it?
Dwight: No need. We can just check the security tapes
Michael: It's kind of a good news bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.
Jim: Who was driving?
Pam: oh Michael...

Pam: There is a spare key, and a master key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked "What if you die, Dwight, how will we get into the office?", he said "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."

Pam: They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting, basically 95% of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. [pauses] Vending machine...

Pam: What did you guys talk about?
Jim: Oh, just you know--politics, literature... [holds up Hooter's T-shirt]
Pam: I hate you.

Pam: What time is it there?
Jim: What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.
Pam: Uh, oh, yeah, right.
Jim: How far away did you think we were?
Pam: I don't know. It felt far.
Jim: ...Yeah.

Pam: When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don't blame the child; he didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, kid; I trust you."

Pam: You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.