Seth Cohen quotes from The O.C.

Seth

She said that about me? That she thinks I'm the funniest guy ever?

Yes. You and some dude named Captain Oats. Who the hell is Captain Oats?

Sandy

Hello, ladies!... Seth...

Seth

Dad, don't call me a lady.

Summer

I'm busy. Studying. Naked.

Seth

[outside the door] Is that supposed to keep me away?

Summer

Cohen? You're at my house!

Seth

And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.

Seth

Okay, listen. Summer, it's not like now that me and Anna broke up I'm now choosing you. Okay? Because the whole reason that we broke up is because for me it's always been you, Summer. It's always been you. I've tried to fight it and I've tried to deny it. And I can't do it. I can't. You're undeniable.

Seth

Just need to talk to you. Girl stuff.

Sandy

Well, you've come to the master. [Kirsten snickers] Hey, I got you.

Kirsten

I was young, impressionable and drunk.

Seth

Only child... Right here.

Summer

The other night, when we... had sex... you weren't the only virgin in the room.

Seth

There was someone else in the room? Like, filming us?

Summer

Me, jackass.

Seth

How was Pittsburgh?

Anna

It was good to be home.

Seth

Yeah. Pittsburgh's also the home of Andy Warhol, Mr. Rogers and ketchup. You can't compete with that.

Seth

I'm sorry, Summer. I need to take a stand. Okay, this whole separation of the public and private spheres is not working for me. I can't do it.

Summer

But I told you how-

Seth

One day, you know, you might have some MTV-driven radio hits and a little moderately priced teen clothing line. I could get offered $20 million to portray a blind superhero in a red leather unitard. But until the, as long as we're complete faceless nobodies living in obscurity... I can't acknowledge you privately if you're not gonna acknowledge me publicly. So, let me know when you're ready to come to the bargaining table. But until then, you just consider me on strike.

Summer

Well you'll be crossing your own picket line in no time.

Seth

Fight the power.

Sandy

You did musicals? I did a musical or two myself in college.

Kirsten

Oh, someone please stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightning."

Seth

Do it, Dad! Travolta's your bitch!

Seth

The ink's all smudged, I can't even read it! Is that a "v" or a "q"? Here, look, right there. First sentence says "I love you," but what is that word right there? "Azerbaijan"? "Aztecs"?

Summer

Aspirin.

Seth

You think it says "aspirin"?

Summer

No, you're giving me a headache.

Seth

Okay. "Coincidence"? "Confucius"? What is the "c" word?

Summer

Confusing?

Seth

You think it says "confusing"?

Summer

No! You're confusing me.

Seth

What if the girl I'm supposed to be with just went back to Pittsburgh?

Ryan

What if she went back to Chino?

Seth

Why would Anna go to Chino? Kidding, come on.

Ryan

Nice one. Well, at least we still have each other.

Seth

Actually, I have Summer now. But I'll put a little Seth/Ryan time on the books. That's quality time.

Ryan

Thanks, buddy. I could always hang out with Luke. What do you think he's doing right now?

Seth

Discovering fire? Hunting and gathering? Shaving his chest with a buck knife? You guys could do that together.

Ryan

I do do that.

Seth

Listen, man, this is a good time for you, okay, Ryan Atwood. This is clean-slate Ryan. Finally you have no women to protect from violent goateed factory workers or pill-popping manic depressives.

Ryan

I guess you're right, I guess I really do have a clean slate.

Seth

You do! Dude, since day one of you getting here it has been nothing but lady drama with you: Marissa, Theresa, Luke, Oliver, Eddie... dude, I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it.

Ryan

I am kinda tired.

Seth

You should be! And you know what, you're gonna get a break, 'cause you deserve it. I think I'm going to declare this month... Angst-Free Ryan Month.

Ryan

Month? You think it's going to last a month?

Seth

Angst-Free Ryan Week. With an option for an additional week if you like it.

Ryan

Okay! Thanks, bud.

Ryan

Is that Grady? He's kind of like you.

Seth

What? Handsome and charming?

Ryan

No. Geeky and sarcastic.

Seth

Right on. I'm hoping for a little Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, maybe Kate Bosworth myself. [Summer hits him] Ow! What? It's okay for you to pine over Legolas?

Summer

Yeah, he's an elf. He saved Middle-Earth. That is a huge part of European history.

Seth

So what's the GP, RA?

Ryan

I have no idea what you just said.

Seth

Game plan, Ryan Atwood.

Ryan

You're just using initials now?

Seth

Yeah. They save time.

Ryan

Well, not if you have to translate.

Seth

GP.

Ryan

Game Plan?

Seth

Good Point.

Summer

I'm gonna study this thing so hard I'm even gonna out-Jew you. [opens the Haggadah]

Seth

You're reading it backwards.