Seth Cohen quotes from The O.C.

Sandy

Look, we want to go away for the weekend, and if we can't trust you by yourselves, you're gonna have to stay with your grandfather. Which means you'll be spending the weekend with Julie Cooper.

[look at each other] You can trust us.

Sandy

Good, now go do your homework.

Sandy

[out of the boys' earshot] Nothing like a little Julie Cooper to strike terror in the hearts of children everywhere.

Kirsten

[smirks] Very impressive!

Sandy

There's a doctor coming here this afternoon. He's gonna help us stage an intervention.

Seth

What? Is this, like, an After-school Special?

Summer

Should we bring him a snack? What does Ryan eat?

Seth

Dry cereal from a box and black coffee.

Summer

She's Taylor Townsend. She's, like, the Carl Rove of our school.

Seth

So you can take Carl Ro- you know who Carl Rove is?

Summer

Yeah, my step-mom sometimes naps in front of CNN. I hear things as I'm dragging her off to bed.

Seth

I know you don't consider yourself as active.

Summer

No, two hobbies: shopping and sunbathing.

Seth

Okay, how about this: you and Marissa run away together.

Ryan

Uh, last time I tried to run away-

Seth

We were ambushed by the cops. Got it. So I guess your not up for the model home idea, either.

Ryan

Uh, I thought we might be able start off with something that wouldn't involve me getting arrested.

Seth

Is it my fault that most of our half-baked adolescent schemes go hopelessly awry and my dad has to bail us out?

Ryan

Uh, usually, yeah.

Kirsten

So your Grandpa's broke.

Seth

Ryan and Marissa don't go to school any more.

Ryan

Jimmy Cooper just sailed out of town again.

Seth

I got two months of detention.

Sandy

That's the great thing about this place. Nothing ever happens.

Ryan

Where's all the cereal?

Kirsten

Oh, I guess we're out.

Seth

There's no bagels either.

Kirsten

I thought we'd try something new.

Seth

Mom, listen to me. I know this whole "Cooking with Kirsten" thing is helping you keep focused. But you can not preempt a man's regularly scheduled breakfast. It is a sacred routine.

Sandy

Honey, this homemade pah tai is delicious, keep cooking like this we'll save a bundle on takeout.

Kirsten

Oh thank you. I hope everybody likes it, i used tofu instead of shrimp.

Marissa

Its fine by me, i think I've kinda gone off of seafood for a while.

Sandy

I for one I love the tofu, tofuna, tofurkey, tobagel with cream tocheese. (Looks around) Too much.

Seth

It was a valiant effort.

Kirsten

You know, you're gonna be exposed to a lot of new things in college next year.

Seth

Yeah, horny coeds and alcohol poisoning.

Summer

Will you quit peeping out the window, Cohen?

Seth

You don't peep out of windows. You peep into them.

Summer

Huh. You'd know.

Seth

Oh God, incoming.

Taylor

Hey, guys, have you heard about the lock-in tomorrow night? The entire senior class is going to spend the night in the gym.

Summer

Oh, we can't make it.

Seth

Yeah, I'm taking off my arm with a hacksaw.

Seth

Okay, picture me in college. Big fish in a small pond? Or small fish in a big pond?

Ryan

Well, I don't know. I never really pictured you living in a pond.

Ryan

So it's safe to say you're not going to Berkeley. Have you told your dad yet?

Seth

Sandy Cohen is a perceptive guy. I'm sure he'll figure it out.

Ryan

Seth, you've got to tell him.

Seth

"Dad, I'm not applying to Berkeley... Where'd you get a gun?... Why do you have this gun?" Mmm, that doesn't have a good ring to it.

Summer

Hey, guys, can't talk. I have to go see Dr. Kim.

Seth

You in trouble?

Summer

Uh, no. I have to change my college file. I got my SAT score.

Seth

Summer, we got our SAT scores back months ago.

Summer

Well, I took mine late. There was a Valley marathon the first time around.

Ryan

Oh. How'd you do?

Seth

Ryan, come on. You never ask a lady her age, weight or SAT score.

Summer

I got a 2300.

Summer

What? That bad?