Bruce Wayne quotes from The New Batman Adventures

Bruce Wayne

I could always...ask him.

Bruce Wayne

[carrying a pile of presents] I've had... just about enough of this...!

Harley Quinn

I think the stuff is wearing off.

Poison Ivy

Can't have that. Give him another shot. [passes Harley her lipstick]

Harley Quinn

[applies it] Right-a-rooney! Gimme some sugar, baby!

Bruce Wayne

[acting afraid] No! Not again! [backs away and and falls down the elevator shaft]

Harley Quinn

OMIGOD, OMIGOD, OMIGOD! We... We killed him... [shrugs] Oh, well.

Poison Ivy

We were going to do it anyway.

Harley Quinn

We got his credit cards, what's to worry?

Bruce Wayne

You work with me, Tim, you follow the rules. Rule number one: you give me everything you've got. Rule number two: then you give me more. And rule number three: I make the rules.

Dick Grayson

Watch out for that last one, kid. It's a killer.

Bruce Wayne

Dick?

Alfred Pennyworth

My word.

Dick Grayson

Hey. No one can be a "Boy Wonder" forever.

Bruce Wayne

[donating a million dollars to an orphanage] As my father once told me, those who have the most must give the most.

Mr. Freeze

[watching on a monitor] Those who have the most also have the most to lose, Mr. Wayne.

Bruce Wayne

Alfred tells me you failed a civics test.

Like I really care what a district attorney does.

Bruce Wayne

You don't know the first thing about the American justice system, do you?

I know it's bogus.

Bruce Wayne

And how'd you come to that well-thought-out conclusion?

Watching you. You don't exactly follow the rules of due process.

Bruce Wayne

I... how did you do on your math test?

Scarecrow

[on the crocodiles in the zoo] Terrifying, aren't they?

Bruce Wayne

What's going on?

Scarecrow

That's what I'd like to know. Who are you? Why were you snooping around?

Bruce Wayne

Easy, easy. I was just lookin' for some loose cash. I wasn't trying to move in on your operation, whatever it is.

Scarecrow

A thief. I thought as much. [pulls out gun]

Bruce Wayne

Hey, be cool.

Scarecrow

Scared you, didn't I?

Scarecrow

They don't seem so frightening now, do they? That's it, tough guy, come and get me.

Scarecrow

Welcome to the food chain.

Ernie

[Disguised as Joker] Well, well, Bruce Wayne. Join me. A bottle of your best, my dear, for my guest.

Bruce Wayne

You'll understand if I refuse. The last time we met you tried to throw me off a building.

Ernie

I did? Weeell... that was so long ago.

Bruce Wayne

It was last month.

Ernie

[starts sweating and wipes makeup off of his forehead] Well, gotta be going...

Exquisite craftsmanship, isn't it, Mr. Wayne? Enjoy it while you can.

Bruce Wayne

Who are-?

Klarion. Why am I not surprised to see you here?

We do have a way of bumping into each other, Uncle Jason. Next time, it will be on purpose.

Bruce Wayne

Jason.

Bruce. Thanks for stepping in.

Bruce Wayne

It was nothing. But tell me, how'd you ever get a brat like that for a nephew?

We're not related. For some reason, it amuses him to call me "Uncle." But don't underestimate him. He'll do anything to get what he wants.

Bruce Wayne

Surely his parents...

Don't expect any help from them. The little witch boy turned them into mice.

Bruce Wayne

You're not serious.

Bruce Wayne

[answers phone] Yes?

Wayne.

Wayne

Commissioner. What can I do for you?

Drop the act. Ten minutes on Barbara's computer told me everything. Like a fool I allowed you to run wild on your private crusade. A psychotic misfit playing masked hero. Now I've paid for it with Barbara's life.

Wayne

Jim, believe me, I know how you feel.

You can't.

Wayne

You know how I lost my parents. The only way I could hold onto my own sanity was to take matters into my own hands.

That makes us even.

Bruce Wayne

Lucky you were here.

Batgirl

Sometimes it pays to get the cheap seats.

Bruce Wayne

What are you doing tonight?

Barbara Gordon

The same thing we do every night, Pinky!

Bruce Wayne

What?

Barbara Gordon

Never mind.

Barbara Gordon

He was so upset he couldn't even talk about it. It wasn't the first time I've seen him like that. What is it between you two? What's going on?

Bruce Wayne

You really care for him, don't you?

Bruce Wayne

Follow me.

Alfred Pennyworth

Master Bruce, I... [sees Barbara in the Batcave] Ms. Gordon, I fear you've discovered our little secret. Yes, I admit it - I am Batman.

Bruce Wayne

It's all right, Alfred.

Alfred Pennyworth

[without missing a beat] Very good, sir.

Barbara Gordon

Why would you trust me with this?

Bruce Wayne

For Dick's sake. Besides, I'm not the only one with a secret, am I... Batgirl?

Bruce Wayne

Alfred, contact Robin.

Alfred Pennyworth

I've already tried, sir. I'm afraid he's not answering.

Bruce Wayne

Keep trying. The Joker will have his goons well-placed. I'm gonna need back-up.

Barbara Gordon

You've already got it.

Bruce Wayne

Everything's changed for me in the past few weeks. The pain of my parents' deaths - it's still there, but it seems... smaller. And there's a new feeling now.

Barbara Gordon

Which would be?

Bruce Wayne

It's a... a lightness, a sense that things will work out for the best.

It's called happiness.

Bruce Wayne

Whatever it is, I like it. And I know who's responsible for it. I've asked Susan to marry me. She's accepted. She's everything I need. She's perfect.

Dick Grayson

There's just one problem. That.

Dick Grayson

How you gonna keep it from her?

Bruce Wayne

I won't have to. I've always assumed that sooner or later, the three of you would get all this. Well, it's going to be sooner. I'm not going to be Batman anymore.