Ernie quotes from The New Batman Adventures

Ernie

$137 million?!

The Joker

Yes! And if I don't pay up, I'll go to jail for tax evasion! I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS?! No thank you!

Hey, Mr. G? This money looks weird.

The Joker

What do you mean? (Picks up a roll of banknotes) It's a plain ol' pack of hundreds. See? There's Ben Franklin's chubby little...What? King Barlowe?! He's on this stack! And this one!

He's on every one of these thousands.

The Joker

I don't understand.

Ernie

Hey, boss. I found this. (holding a video tape)

The Joker

If I don't pay my taxes I'll go to jail, but if I admit Barlowe duped me I look like a fool.

Ernie

Maybe you can raise the money by pulling one of your classic routines, like them laughing fish?

The Joker

Good idea, Ernie. Let's let Batman know I did it SO HE CAN KICK MY KEISTER RIGHT BACK INTO ARKHAM!!! Dope. Fake Harley, any ideas?

Anything you say, Mr. G. (laugh)

Ernie

No, boss!

The Joker

(Sighs) Who'd ever think I'd miss the real one?

Ernie

[Disguised as Joker] Well, well, Bruce Wayne. Join me. A bottle of your best, my dear, for my guest.

Bruce Wayne

You'll understand if I refuse. The last time we met you tried to throw me off a building.

Ernie

I did? Weeell... that was so long ago.

Bruce Wayne

It was last month.

Ernie

[starts sweating and wipes makeup off of his forehead] Well, gotta be going...

Should have used more makeup, Ernie.

Why the disguise, Ernie? Where is he?

Ernie

I dunno what you're talking about.

Penguin

He can't threaten my guests.

Let me jog your memory.